Everyone will be with those whom he loves

It would be customary for me to nose-dive towards near-insanity around this time of year, but, as astronomical as the tasks lain before me appear to be, I'm inexplicably calm. And people can't use that last-minute-paddler argument with me because this is last minute- Neurology is but three days away (two for control freaks) and I still have about... four gazillion questions to go.

So I browsed through my past summer exam entries to contemplate retrospectively on how I was doing each time- from the world cup-tinged and missing-home kind of entries in 2006, to broody in 2007, to reflective, Euro-coated last year. All shared one thing in common- optimism, the weapon that has gotten me through many sticky situations in life thus far. Not that you can take on the world by optimism alone, but by being optimistic you gain the confidence to fight for success, and to be positive in defeat. It's a win-win situation.

All my life I have been clouded by the thought that more often than not I haven't been giving my absolute best in my endeavours. It may be true in some occasions, but in hindsight, I do strive my best with all these weaknesses I possess that get in the way from following through. I know it sounds disoriented, and more like an excuse, but anyway, this beautiful hadith comforts me whenever I think I'm not doing my best (or can never be the best) to be of any regard to anyone:-

Narrated Abdullah bin Mas'ud r.a. : "A man came to Allah's messenger (S.A.W.) and said, 'O Messenger of Allah! What do you say about a man who loves some people but cannot catch up with their good deeds?' Rasulullah S.A.W. said, 'Everyone will be with those whom he loves.'"
(Bukhari)

And in relation to this hadith, Anas r.a. said,

“There was nothing which made us (sahabas) happier in this world than to hear this”
(Muslim)

May Allah make us from those who are resurrected with the successful ones on the day of reckoning.

Now back to books...

ps: Federer won! ;)

Unworthy of a title

As is invariably the way when someone has gone by more than a month without an entry, he/she kicks off with detailed explanations for his/her absence (that were just a lot of chaff), as if anyone gives two hoots about it. But I’m all for clichés, so here goes…

It pains to recall since when, but writing has become a punishing chore, like Russian homework. Or Neurology lecture. I like to write, but it’s not always a flowing river of words for me. Thoughts I have plenty, but to translate them into intelligible accounts for human viewing requires a mammoth of an effort in my part, something that the Law of Procrastination simply forbade me to do, the last couple of weeks. A handful of doodles during lectures have gone missing somehow too, and I just hope nobody found ‘em before me, those shoddy excuses of a scribble.

Spring waltzed by with a medley of dramas which could pass for a few Gossip Girl episodes, most of which I was glad for not being directly involved with, because my head would have exploded from the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Sometimes you wonder whether you really know the person you thought you knew. And whether the world has gone mad or you're the one not in sync with it anymore.

One of the most interesting topics to talk about in this side of the world these days is- surprise, surprise- the weather. First thunderstorm of the year (at least that I’m aware of) occurred late afternoon on Sunday, as I was sitting amongst the spectators of the handball playoff final match between Dinamo Volgograd and Zvezda Moscow (reigning champs). And what a sizzling match that was- our players were firing on all cylinders right from the start, leading 8-1 at one point. As the star-laden Zvezda (incidentally, 'zvezda' means a star. No pun intended. hehe) began to get into their groove halfway through, one of their top shooters was red-carded and their coach (also the national team coach) got all diva-like with endless protests and even called a couple of unofficial ‘timeouts’ afterwards, delaying the game; I just had to laugh when he was shown the yellow card by the ref for verbal abuse. Anyhow, Dinamo kept Zvezda on its tail throughout the entire game- they were a deserving winner alright.

The climax of the show though, came twenty seconds from time, when a scuffle broke out between two players, and I wondered whether I was watching ice hockey instead. Oh and did I mention these were women we were talking about? From my standpoint it was not very clear because all the benchers charged to the scene right after to back their teammates up but as I saw on the news that night those two were literally pulling hairs and scratching each other’s face! Wow. That didn’t change anything however; Dinamo still won 31 to 26. Russian champions 2009!

OK, I was not, as originally intended, talking about the weather. The weather, meanwhile, has been idiosyncratic- all sunny now, raining cats and dogs the minute after. I love heavy rain, provided I’m on the inside looking out, preferably with a cup of tea and keropok lekor at hand. Otherwise, I don’t really see the joy in soaking my trousers skipping around puddles (or streams) of water, not when I’m on my way to class. That said, summer has just arrived, and I would take drenched trousers over blistering burned skin any time of the day. Yes, summer here is that hot, hotter than Rafa Nadal’s pink attire in the French Open.

Speaking of which, I am thrilled that they are covering the tournament this time, even though most full matches shown are those involving Russian players. So I was hoping most of them get early exits (except for Davydenko, cos he’s a Volgograd resident! And probably Sharapova- her comeback was stirring), and the TV people would have no choice but to air other players as well. Haha. I still haven’t given up hope on Federer seizing the only ‘slam that eludes him (yesterday was a scare, by the way), especially now since he’s the favourite- although Roland Garros this year did give us a bag of surprises thus far. Allez Roger!

I can feel my parents starting to wonder whether I really am studying medicine here so I’ll give an update on my studies. We’re on ENT now, a field that I’m almost sure I won’t specialise in- anatomy of the ear puzzles me. Semester ends this week, followed by a short study leave and then, yes, the thorn at the final corner of the road- final exams. The panic air hasn’t hit town yet for me, but it has for my sister, roomie, and the rest of final year students, because their exam starts today! Hazzun sa'eed- may Allah ease your way and grant you with gempak-issimo results.

Today is another sunny day… for now.

My Family and Kokoro no Tomo-tachi (Saiunkoku watchers ;p)

I thought to myself a few days ago, I wouldn’t write another cheesy birthday entry this year. But came my birthday, and I realised why every year I ended up doing it anyway. No, it did not have anything to do with reflecting on getting older and wiser (or not so) and responsibilities and all that boogie-woogie. Honestly, I didn’t the slightest bit care about the fact and when people normally asked, “How does it feel being so-and-so?” I would just say, “fine!” or give non-answers like, “hehe” or “hmm…” or trivias like “my mother got married at this age.” or this time around, “I’m forever seventeen!”.

As far as getting older is concerned, I just don’t think about that on my birthday. I ponder on that perhaps about every other day of the year except my birthday. If you noticed my birthday entries every year, they were all about thanking my family and friends, for this was the time of year for me when the word ‘overwhelmed’ became an understatement. As was the case this year, notwithstanding the feel seemed somewhat different. Perhaps it had to do with the flu I’d been having since the night before. Nevertheless, my birthday is a day to remind me of how I am blessed with such good people around me- one of the greatest blessings of my life.

I had thought before that if I were to treat my friends nicely, I would be treated the same way too. But I know a couple of very nice people who, by some twists of fate, always seem to encounter not-so-nice people who give them headaches in one way or another. Hence I consider myself truly blessed in this respect, for Allah has sent me some very good people to accompany me in this life, wherever I've been. The dinner feast, the homemade birthday cakes, the morning phone call from Sydney, the blog entries, the emails, the SMS-es, the wishes on Facebook/Geni/Friendster, the wishes at the lecture & back in hostel, the surprise gifts on my desk and bed when I got back, the second dinner feast… Yes, as I have tried to convince myself for a while, birthdays are not that big of a deal per se, but it is an occasion nonetheless- for people to wish you well, and for you to notice how fortunate you are, in this big wide world you live in.

Alhamdulillah.

Not planning to write, but I have to

Happy 48th birthday, Abah. I wish you well and under Allah's blessings and guidance always. And even though certain parties might erupt into chaos, I'd like to say that I think you're the best-looking out of your siblings. hehehe. (At least Mak will agree.)

A Little Midnight Drone

This year, as it turned out, we jumped straight from winter to summer. I hate to sound like a Puteri Lilin because I used to berjemur all the time doing co-curricular activities back in school and was very dark throughout the years, but I really can’t stand being under the sun these days. Today was so hot my spring jacket became a hand accessory instead, and, as if punishing me for not indulging in the glaring beams more like those Russians, the marshrutka I took was flagged down by the police and as it seemed to take a while, I, amongst most of other passengers, decided to get down and resume on foot for the next kilometre or so in order to make it in time for my final Paediatrics class. In the afternoon, as we walked from Ploshad Chekistov to the tram station for lecture, we were told that a massive road block had taken place and all trams and marshrutkas going in the direction we were taking were subsequently halted and thus we had to walk all the way to the hospital, scorching sun and all. I felt alright then, but now my knees are all jelly (now where did I put my TENS device…). I am seriously contemplating on bringing my umbrella tomorrow.

Why the rant, I don’t know… I wasn’t planning to, at the beginning of this post, but the selfish part of me took over. Anyway, to round it up, I owe surviving a depressing day (and not even due to the weather, actually) to the amazing people around me who never stop to be, in my eyes, amazing. Right from my sister whose simple presence was enough of a comfort, to this lovely friend who, after I half-jokingly said on the way back that only cheesecake or nasi lemak could possibly make me happy today, turned up a couple of hours later with nasi lemak for me (Darn, I’ve got to do better than sending roti tissue on Facebook). Minna-san, daisuki yo!

Off to bed, eyes all red…