Just to let everyone know that I'm still alive ;)

Your Birthdate: April 13

You're dominant and powerful. You always need to be in charge. While others respect your competence, you can be a bit of a dictator. Hard working and serious, you never let yourself down. You are exact and accurate - and you expect others to be the same way. Your strength: You always get the job done Your weakness: You're a perfectionist to a fault Your power color: Gray Your power symbol: Checkmark Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Can't say they're all true =p And Afie, I'll be waiting for my birthday present from you! Ngeh ngeh...

Raya

These are my raya pictures =)


Me and fellow first-year girls at the Raya feast on Friday


My roommate and me with our Anatomy lecturer, Irina Vladimirovna


with friends during Deepavali feast on Saturday


Me, my roommates Farah and Fatin


with my sister Sarah

Home

Mak, you misunderstood my point. I do miss you guys, and raya would undoubtedly be a million times better at home. What I'm trying to say is, it's a new experience for me to be celebrating it at a foreign land, without family by my side- and I'm surprisingly coping with it pretty well. We talked about home every day prior to raya though, wishing we could go back to join in the celebration. To strengthen my case, I dedicate this song to all my family members- miss you all a lot =)

Farewell Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum,

Ramadhan has come and gone again… though this passing month has elapsed with such remarkable swiftness that some of us are left somewhat wondering whether we have managed to make any significant progress at all this year, the air of its blessings could still be tremendously felt. I know I always feel easier to fast during Ramadhan than any other time in the year- my body feels tougher and more resilient, unlike at other times, where I would usually succumb to exhaustion right by noon. I strongly believe it’s the barakah of this special month that provides me the strength to endure anything that crosses my path, be it in physical or spiritual form. And for that I’m very thankful, to be graced with the privilege to observe yet another Ramadhan in peace.

I also feel fortunate to be part of a Muslim community that embrace Ramadhan in the manner it deserves, even though we are miles and miles away from a bona fide Muslim society. We prayed Tarawih as a jamaah every night (with tazkirah afterwards) and had an iftar gathering and qiamullail last weekend during which everyone participated with dedication. Tonight we recited takbir for one glorious hour and prayed Isya’ together.

It’s holiday in Russia this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so we will hold an eid celebration for Malaysians on Friday. It’s a bittersweet emotion I’m going through right now… and surprisingly it is not because I won’t be celebrating raya with my family at home. I do miss my family, but it’s a different story altogether. I’m not feeling dejected because of raya… I don’t feel the urge to play raya songs like my friends (but maybe that’s because I never really liked raya songs =p); duit raya- I’m past that already, I guess (not that I will reject them if given!); even raya food failed to spark the festive mood in me. I simply feel thankful to be here, safe and sound, and a bit sorrowful because I feel I haven’t done my best this whole month. I’m missing Ramadhan already, and wish with all my heart that I will live to see the next Ramadhan, insyaallah.

Selamat hari raya to everyone who visits my page- have a meaningful eidil fitr =)

Dum spiro, spero.~ "As long as I breathe, I hope."

Seven wonders of MY world

So I’ve been tagged. And here are my sevens =)

(note to reader: some of the stuff may not reflect on my personality accurately as I just wrote what I had in mind at the time being. And trust me, I’m as yo-yo-ish as one can get ;p)

7 things that scare me:
- ghosts and supernatural stuff (although I’ve never had any experience regarding the matter)
- the dark (I always sleep with the lights on, and my mum always tells me off about it. Heh)
- thunders and lightning
- my unnatural laziness
- not being a good Muslim, not good enough to earn His blessings
- snakes, lizards… reptiles, basically. AND frogs (euurgh),
- failure and not living up to people’s expectations

7 things I like most:
- reading and writing
- astronomy (childhood ambition: astronaut and later, astrophysicist)
- watching my cats frolicking in the grass (or doing anything else for that matter. Even watching them eat brings me a sense of pleasure)
- taking pictures
- shopping (an excellent therapy, my friends would agree with me ;p)
- Disney movies (for the happy endings- I just adore happy endings in a movie)
- Mother nature

7 important things in my room:
- my Quran mushaf
- munch-ons
- my books
- my handphone
- my memorabilia and soft toys (mostly gifts from dear ones)
- my laptop
- the mirror

7 random facts about me:
- I have been wearing specs on and off since I was 12 and had had like, 7 specs already to date (and still going through adapting phase. Heh).
- I often receive compliments for my handwriting =)
- I’m a pack rat AND sentimental junkie- it would take me hours (even days) to declutter my room, and I would keep everything in the end anyway.
- I have this big thing for cards- would buy them just because they’re beautiful and save them for a rainy day (to give to people lah).
- People often get a false first impression of me and my character (I won’t elaborate, but looks can be deceiving! Lol) and later would rag me about it (often claiming they had been duped. Yeah right!).
- I love computer games but have ditched them a while ago for some unknown reasons (hmm… maybe I should start playing again… hehe my mother would totally kill me for this)
- ‘Bullet Train’ is the title given to me during our class party earlier this year. Go figure =)

7 things I plan to do before I die:
- become a good muslim doctor (this one’s quite popular, so I’ve seen ;p)
- travel around the world with my best friend (we already have a long-standing date. Heh)
- sponsor my parents’ trip around the world (or at least their backpacks. Haha)
- memorise the whole of Quran
- master Arabic language and pick up two or three more foreign tongues (would love French, Mandarin and Japanese)
- do voluntary works (especially in the field of da’wah)
- write a book =)

7 things I can do:
- smile at strangers
- debate about almost any issue
- make small talks
- buy nice gifts for people
- give ideas and solve people’s problems, or at least comfort them about it (somehow people often turn to me for ideas and solutions to their crises)
- procrastinate (master procrastinator herself, I am ;p)
- appreciate nature

7 things I can’t do:
- save and manage my money
- make study notes (really)
- love maths (don’t hate it, just can’t love it)
- avoid trouble (to borrow from Harry Potter, trouble usually finds me)
- watch horror movies
- dance (not graceful enough. hehe)
- be a model sister (I’m forever stuck in the evil-sistersville. Hoho)

7 things I say the most:
- macam (one of my friends’ favourite activities- counting the number of times the word ‘macam’ crops up in my sentences)
- konon
- waaa…
- tipu!
- Ya Allah!
- Tapi kan…
- chop! (usually in repetition)

7 celebrity crushes:
- Jude Law
- Prince Eric in ‘The Little Mermaid’ (ni kire celebrity ke… heheh)
- The guy in ‘Chasing Liberty’ (the British accent!)
- Roger Federer
- John Mayer
- Clay Aiken
- Johnny Depp

ps: Al-fatihah to our late first lady, Datin Seri Endon Mahmood who passed away this morning...

More pictures

I don't know why, I couldn't seem to upload more pictures in the previous entry. Never mind, here's more of 'em~


A train passing by one late afternoon, as seen from my bedroom window


A view of a building near my hostel on a cloudy morning




Sunrise from my window


Some stylish Russian ladies (and there were loads and loads of them) on the street


Kids eating ice cream at a bus stop *Russian toddlers are the cutest and friendliest creatures on earth!*


Taming two birds with one picture!


A wild flower in front of my hostel

It's a comfort to know that I can be in touch with home via the internet easily here, thank God for that. Other than the less-than-desirable toilets and too-many-stairs-to-climb campus building, I'm not complaining ;) And once again, good day to all!

ps: still haven't discovered how to put songs in this blog. Can anyone teach me? Heh. By the way I've changed the audio clip. It's a great cover version by Clay Aiken, whom I think should have won American Idol 2. =p

From Russia with love

Hehe... cheesy line up there, I know, but who cares... I'm roughly 6900 kilometres away from home, I'm allowed to be as cheesy as I want! =D With all due respect, it was not my intention to abandon my blog for such a long period of time- I myself can't fully explain the silence... let's just assume it was writer's block ;) Though in a way, I can say that I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the things I've been through for the past month that if I were to put them to words, I would have had a major headache deciding on where to begin!

I'm feeling totally rusty and out of sorts right now… nothing that a good cup of tea couldn’t cure, but boiling water isn’t such a hot idea at 4.10 in the morning, not according to my dictionary. Anyway, between the ugly unfamiliarity of an alien soil and heady wind ready to sweep you off your feet at one go, I’m actually doing rather fine here, relatively speaking. I’m starting to love this beautiful place and the bouncy weather (kind of) and everybody has been kind, thus far. The phase of adjustment is all but over for me, but I’m swimming right up there with my flock, so everything is just FINE =)

Really, words are failing me now… I guess I’ll have to exemplify my points next with pictures. Have a good day everyone!


The majestic Mother of Russia statue, situated on a hill


Memorial nearby the statue to commemorate fallen soldiers in the Stalingrad Battle during WW2 (at the centre: The Light of Eternal Flame)*this picture was taken during the changing of guards ceremony*



My roommate and I near the statue one rainy afternoon




Beautiful roses at a garden on the hill

Wasiat to my brother

My youngest brother had his own idea of Merdeka- he had just battled through the scare of UPSR and live to tell the story. Yesterday he asked me to pick him up one hour late so that he could 'celebrate' with his fellow comrades. Next week will be his grand celebration though, when he goes on a class trip to Sarawak for three days (I've never been to Sarawak!). And this morning, at about 6.40am, he knocked on my door- already fully attired with schoolbag slung over his shoulder- and urged me to get ready (read: pull on jumper and tudung) to send him to school.

This afternoon I eyed him with envy as he plopped down on the chair, watching TV. Now this is difficult to explain, but he appeared to have accomplished some sort of 'total freedom' in his part and is unrestrained to prowl around doing whatever he wants that it had me in envy a little bit. Well, so am I (free for leisure), but it just isn't the same, I can't say why! It just is.

Later this evening, I decided to give him a bit of a wasiat (konon!). So I summoned him to the bathroom we both share with my toothbrush still dangling from my hand and mouth still filled with toothpaste (OK it's beginning to get gross). Here goes our conversation (actually I did all the talking. haha):

"Man (short for Luqman), kak fi nak pesan sikit. Nanti 2 minggu lagi bile kak fi dah takde, toilet ni- "

"Maman kene flush, kan?" he interjected.

"Er... ye (clearly that wasn't what i had in mind). Lagi satu, shampoo, sabun semua ni, bile dah habis, buang tau, jangan biar bersepah kat sini. Faham?"

"Hmmm..."

"Hmm tu akan buat ke tak?"

"Tak akan... (saw me flash my evil sister look) hehehe akan laa."

"Then kalau rambut jatuh mase shampoo tu, kaut dengan plastik, buang. Jangan masukkan dalam lubang air tu."

He didn't quite get how so I had to do a demonstration there for a minute.

"Lagi, lantai toilet ni (I'm on a roll now ;p) bersihkan guna berus tu. Taruk sikit pencuci lantai dalam baldi, campur dengan air ("banyak mane?" serius je tanye) dalam suku baldi, lepas tu berus la."

"Toilet bowl pun same. Gune berus yang tu, bersihkan dalam die, tepi-tepi tu semua. OK? Bagus."

Of course I did not expect him to do all that, but his perplexed look upon all the instructions was worth it. Haha. After that I proceeded with my wudhu' and was getting ready for maghrib when he knocked on my bathroom door two minutes later.

"Kenape?"

"Kak Pi, Man nak cakap sikit."

"Ape?"

"Nanti, minggu depan bile Man takde, toilet ni, tolong bersihkan. Toilet tu flush. Berus tu-" At this point, I shut the door and sang "tralalalala" to drown out his voice.

The cheek!

Merdeka, anyone?

Yesterday was our 48th anniversary since we triumphed the protracted struggle against trespassers upon this beautiful land we call home. 31st August: the emblem of our national pride, something we can hold on to for years and years to come. The day upon which the spattered blood of our fallen heroes are elicited in retrospect and given due respect with ample tributes via the mass media; where history is revisited, reevaluated, relearned; where the spirit of patriotism soar across the heavens and the slogan “raise the flag high!” can never be better demonstrated with so much gusto.

Patriotism. Such a clear, unpretentious word yet engenders so many definitions. You tack on a dozen of the national flag at the back of your car and cruise around town with your callused fingers out of the window, tossing off cigarette ashes carelessly- pride swelling in your chest, feeling foolishly patriotic (or the other way round). You join the frenzied crowd at a Merdeka event, brandishing a giant national flag to show that you’re a true-blue anak merdeka, and when asked by a TV journalist you said we gained independence in 1946 (and we viewers had had a good laugh at your stupid grin). You add fuel to the televised countdown mass (and concert) as an unerring gesture of your undying love for the nation, and party till the break of dawn, your religion and morals hurled over the window in the face of inspiring nationalism.

It goes to show that being patriotic is a matter of opinion. I, for once, have never attended a Merdeka parade, but I do remember the year of our independence, mind. Our family has never flaunted the national flag on our car, but we don’t go thrashing the environment with our bloody cigarettes either. To me, being patriotic is to show love for the country by serving the land its due worth along with great compassion and integrity. Propelling ourselves to become an asset for the nation by offering good deeds- contribute to the society and pitch in our heart and soul for its physical as well as spiritual development. It is amazing how people can claim to be so patriotic and ignore these simple moral codes, thus prompting me to rephrase my word- patriotism is in fact a word with a lost meaning.

Our holiday celebrations have lately reached a new level of absurdity. Any sane people would testify that these Merdeka events (which are usually in the form of musical concerts) are markedly superficial- that they give us no indication whatsoever of the level of patriotism amongst Malaysians rather than providing some hours of plain good fun, but you know the world has gone effectively bonkers when tens of thousands of people flock to such a concert solely to see their latest acquired singing idol (no need to name names, do we?? Heh) and a leader had the grit (or maybe he’s just clueless) to proclaim that he had never seen such a great demonstration of good old patriotism amongst the rakyat (meaning the overwhelming turnout of people). Or something like that (snagged the news secondhand. hah.). Go figure, mister.

I don’t want to be discreet- I AM annoyed at those (mostly teenagers like myself) who have fallen so horribly under the reality-show (namely AF) spell and treat Mawi with unimaginable reverence bordering on obsession. Like, get a life! People who waste their money and time going to Merdeka concerts where members of both sexes mingle freely without any restrictions- what are they thinking exactly, I wonder?

I don’t condemn those who attend Merdeka events (as long as they don’t contain elements of maksiat, which is becoming quite rare nowadays) or those with the flags- raise ‘em high! But I also see these people throwing away ice-cream wrappers on the road without the slightest moment reserved to ponder upon their actions. I see people round this town burn their rubbish openly and then can easily complaint about the haze whereas they are bruising the nature guiltlessly themselves. And I see people forgetting history- how could we expect them to retrace the footsteps of our brave heroes and possibly learn something from their toils and sweats when they (yes there were plenty of them) can’t even remember the most important date in national history?

I had given this a thought before- am I unpatriotic? For it so appears that I don't feel particularly excited to watch the national parade or wave flags and stuff... so shoot me. But after some contemplation, i concluded that I AM patriotic, in the sense that I do love my country and will serve it in ways that I can and will never allow myself to put the nation to shame with my attitude or behaviour. I wish people could see that in addition to the obvious public display of our patriotism, we need to delve deeper into ourselves, see whether we are actually assets or a hindrance to the country's progress, as we are the ones who made up the country in the first place.

My first and foremost allegiance is and will always be to my religion though, and since the state of affairs in our country today so often contradicts with our so-called status as a Muslim nation it repeatedly put me at odds with myself, thus the question of the level of patriotism in my part. Many activities and events are so heavily smouldered with political motives and devoid of religious elements that they put me off. if these are the things that render me unpatriotic, then perhaps I am. but then again, we do have quite a different outlook on the word's definition itself.

I'm ranting unneccessarily, yeah... as always. Not trying to sport a holier-than-thou attitude- I am no saint myself, but even by my wacky standards the world has become almost too weird a place to live in.

ps: some original words have been rephrased/erased to preserve sensitivity.

Busy, busy, busy!

My lackluster holiday scene has expired- this week’s been anything but subdued for yours truly. Several hours ago I was sitting on a beige sofa in another hospital room within a fortnight- my brother being the subject of interest this time around. He had undergone an operation to clear his sinus (it's called FESS something? My mother told me. Heh) three days ago and been recuperating inside the cooped-up space of his room until late yesterday. It was nice actually, his room- with a neat piece of wooden cupboard planted next to his bed which I would love to supplant the crippled one I had back in my bedroom (my brother was hospitalised and all I can talk of is his room’s nice little cupboard. What a bad sister I am... Tsk.).

My sister has been an angel (that’s what everybody who hasn’t had the pleasure of having to room with her all their lives says anyway… haha just kidding!) to look after him throughout the course of day and night whilst I resumed my 'coveted' post as the family chauffeur- sending the younger siblings to tuition classes (it’s school holiday now), doing grocery shopping (not nearly as dandy as shopping for clothes or shoes and stuff but can be rather refreshing jugak sometimes! ;p), running some other errands… Alright, this is the cue that I’m running out of things to say. Really, I’m quite exhausted these days, physically speaking- my weak knees have been throbbing like fury especially during the cold weather. But I’m not complaining- am going to lunch by the river in an hour with my family (the occasion is long overdue in respect for my father’s dietary regime) and my brother’s getting much, much better. The sun has never looked brighter =D

“He’s the main guy and there’s probably four or five of us (just behind). Maybe we need to do just a tag-team effort or something, join forces like Power Rangers or something.”~ Andy Roddick on Roger Federer after the latter won the Cincinnati Masters and ninth title of the year.

Missing something

It’s during times like these that your mind begins to traipse through the tunnel of time- back to the good old days when life revolved almost exclusively around the determinate compound of school (and the whole lot of crazy stuff crammed inside it for some good measure). For the past four months my springy eardrums have become accustomed to my fourteen-year-old sister’s daily chronicle of life that wouldn’t practically fit into the pages of your standard History textbook, within which involved some crushing episodes of backstabbing amongst so-called friends, or an atrocious act of injustice from a teacher, or an equally catastrophic teen love-triangle saga with plots and twists that would put Mexican telenovellas to perfect shame.

Before we jump into any conclusion, let me clarify that I wasn’t that deep during her age either (as if I’m so matured now. Heh) - similar scenarios surrounded my life as a fourteen-year-old, which unexpectedly is the exact reason that made me miss school all the more… the chaotic phase of growing up. The days when you were deep-fried in the process of learning and stupid mistakes were committed all the time.

Friendships were taken very seriously and when certain unwritten laws were broken, cold war would inexorably ensue- prepare for bitter words, dagger-looks, even exchanging letters (supposedly to hunt for the roots of the problem lah). Class parties were the very representation of fun with certain line of rules and regulations willing to be crossed- though nothing that screamed tragedy- in order to establish total success. PJ (Pendidikan Jasmani) was acknowledged as the all-embracing favourite subject and any attempt by teachers to displace the session with an hour’s dose of maths or science would be railed against with vigour. And school events were celebrated with the best of spirits (although we didn't get to have full say in many things, unlike students of residential schools).

We embraced the wheel of life and its grittier details wholeheartedly. We were at times silly, but nonetheless passionate in our endeavours (whatever they were ;p). These (amongst others) were life as I knew it. And I’m missing it, sorely.

School- where all the fun is.

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love”~ Charles M. Schulz

The blogger strikes back

Alhamdulillah.

I had been ambivalent vis-à-vis this sudden transfer from my Xangan blog, but the idea has actually been dawdling in my mind's eye for months on end already, so it's only appropriate that I execute the plan now rather than later, when I suspect I'll be too busy dunking myself with piles of king-sized books more than I can hope for and thus leaving this blog to resume its guise as another of my scores of wishful thinkings :)

I've been pretty drony this time around... the buoyant spirit of holidays has long evaporated- instead I'm beginning to count the days till my academic year commences. Ever the dumb optimist, my guts convinced me that this following chapter of my life will furnish a fresh and insightful experience towards my benefit and insyaallah, I will try to make the most out of everything on the cards for me. And mak and abah, please don't give me another of your standard lectures, at least not here. Thank you. Hehe.

Green and grey are not my favourite colours but somehow I find the coalescence of the colours in this layout easy on the eyes. All for the better, as I probably won't change it for another whole year. So any hate mails, send 'em now!

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live"~ J.K. Rowling