Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah.

One of my prayers has been answered last Friday when He granted me the gift of completing my memorisation of His divine words, Al-Quran Al-Karim.

The final week was quite a stretch, as I was determined to finish on a Friday, the holiest of days, and had arranged my order of memorisation and recitations accordingly. My teacher was rather busy all week though, and I had almost thought I wouldn't make it, but praise be to Allah, the best Planner and the One Who Fulfills the prayers of His slaves, who made it all possible for me.

He who has been so good to me, despite the many times I have failed Him- giving me second chances when no others would, over and over again. No matter how deep in trouble I've got myself into, He would always come to my side, providing me a way out.

He who does not discriminate, whose love and mercy exceed any imaginable expectations.

He who has guided me to the truth- The One and Only Lord, The Most Merciful.

Now the harder part has come- to maintain my hifz with consistency. It's a lifetime commitment- a responsibility as well as a blessing. And I don't even have to mention the hardest part of all- to live out the teachings of the book; to emulate the walking Al-Quran- our beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w. Allahumma yassir wa la tu'assir wa tammim bilkhair...

Concurrently, a new, torturous exciting chapter of life is about to begin- W-O-R-K-I-N-G! It felt a little funny when I went to register with MMC and SPA a few days back that they kept calling me 'doctor'. I still don't feel like one, frankly (hopefully none of my future patients read this, they might question my credibility -__-).

Okay, I've been on cloud nine for several days already, time to wipe the dust off those medical books...

Have a good day, everyone.

Post-monsoon cleaning

Okay, it’s time for the long overdue mundane blubbering post (cue to roll eyes and close the tab for the tame-hearted).

Yesterday morning, we had what I would term as a post-monsoon cleaning, and, with the help of a cleaner (and her son), we rummaged through mountains of old (and new!) household goods and paraphernalia, discovering and rediscovering some wonders that we never realized (or have forgotten) we possessed. Examples include a new and unused 20-piece set of pots and pans, a large nonstick wok and a bunch of cleaning soaps and sprays. Ever the pack rat, I resolved to go through the old books one by one and rearrange mine in a specific container, and the same went for the old clothes. Halfway through (well, not even close, actually), however, I was brutally smothered by the sheer size of the junks that I eventually gave up and succumbed to the ‘trick’ I learned from my roommate when I was at the end of my tether packing before graduating last year- ‘just let it go’. Oh yes… but oh no. Bad idea, as it turned out, for I nearly threw away my mother’s wedding dress and gifts, and some old kiddie stuff with sentimental values. I guess kemas-kemas stuff will strongly remain at the pinnacle of my list of least favourite (I’m using very positive words here, see) household chores for a good time to come.

As it happened, I didn’t get to rest my sore gluteal muscles for more than a few minutes until much later in the evening, sashaying from one chore to another like there was no tomorrow. The blue sky in my nutsy day would unquestionably be eating the yoghurt with honey that I made in the afternoon using our brand-new yoghurt maker, bought with the help of our healthy lifestyle guru, Aunty Hanis! My first ever homemade yoghurt! Yay!

Cleaning sessions like this will usually bring me back to a nostalgic moment or two (or more) when I come across items with sentimental values (which by nature means almost everything there is). This time around, a warm feeling came when I found an old stamp-collecting album, a cherished childhood pastime of us three elder siblings and friends. Those were the times when we would fiercely compete for a bigger and more beautiful collection, and would tirelessly go through the rigorous process of separating stamps from the envelopes and drying them afterwards. Secret deals and negotiations would take place, usually with our father or late grandfather, who had in his possession a vast number of unique stamps, old and new- like the triangular and diamond-shaped ones. Sometimes we even ‘cheated’ by buying stamps at the stationery shop just to increase the ‘worth’ of our albums, although the sense of satisfaction was never the same.

Collecting was a huge hobby of mine as a child, and I learned a lot from it, like knowing the names of countries from the stamps and coins, many scientific facts from ‘fakta menakjubkan’ cutouts in Utusan newspaper (which I don’t read anymore, for obvious reasons), and improving my understanding of language from comic strips in NST (which I also don’t read anymore). I wonder if they still sell those stamps at stationery shops. I wonder if children today even collect them still. I mean, most of us don’t even send snail mails anymore, which is just a shame (I just posted one to a friend a few days ago, by the way. ;p). Sometimes the activities which demand more time and effort to accomplish give us (and others at the receiving ends) a better sense of satisfaction and appreciation, as in the case with collecting stamps and cutouts, or writing snail mails instead of e-mails. Sometimes old ways are simply better.

And, to conclude my mundane-post report, today I met my little green slimy friend (not!). Joy.

The end.

Ps: My parents spent the whole day reuniting with old varsity friends and are actually having dinner downstairs with them as I write. Happy reunion and may Allah strengthen the ties of friendship between each and every one of us!

A Drop in the Ocean

It has been roughly eight months since I received my degree, and the thing is, I haven't started working yet. No, I haven't had a change of heart... I'm actually trying to mend it by doing something that I would definitely not have seen myself doing a year ago. Some people may have doubts- and understandably so- about me planning to step into the perilous world of housemanship after almost a year of hiatus, but I firmly believe in Allah's promise in surah Muhammad, verse 7:

"O you who believe! If you support (in the cause of) Allah, He will support you, and make your foothold firm"

I know it's not going to be a walk in the park, but then, everything in this life is a test, whether you're breaking your back in search for some food to bring back home or merrily swimming in an ocean of gold. Thus, in a humble effort (a wasilah, so to speak) to attain nearness to Him, I decided to put my working life on hold and embark on a journey of a lifetime- a journey that, truth be told, I should have made years ago. And that is the journey of committing the entire 6236 verses of the exalted Al-Quran to memory.

This has by no means been an easy decision. Frankly, I had (almost) wholeheartedly resigned to the fact that I would never fulfill this lifelong wish of mine, and had even hatched a little plan in the back of my mind to at least make sure my children, if I had them, all become huffaz (people who memorise Al-Quran). As I was about to finish medical school last year, however, I had a talk with a dear friend which changed everything, and I truly owed it to her for putting across the idea, encouraging me and assuring me that I was capable of doing it. May Allah reward you immensely, Kak Ma. :)

I have just completed four months at the time I'm writing this, and mashaallah, considering all the ups and downs along the way, I've managed to stay on course and hopefully I can complete this in due time (which is six months altogether), inshaallah.

I have been asked to share my everyday life here in detail, down to the very food I eat. :) Firstly, before I decided to undertake this huge task, it was crucial to understand what I was 'getting into'. If you ask any hafiz of Al-Quran, I think the majority of them will agree that memorising, tough enough as it sounds, is not the most challenging part. The real difficulty is to retain the Quran in one's heart for the rest of one's life. Being a hafiz/hafizah (meaning: the protector) of Al-Quran is a tremendous honour, but it is at the same time a heavy load to carry. In a hadith, our beloved prophet, Rasulullah s.a.w. said,

"Persist and devote yourselves to the recitation of this Qur’an, for by Him in Whose Hand lies the soul of Muhammad, it slips away faster than camels that are released from their tethers.”(Sahih Bukhari)

And also: “The example of the person who knows the Qur’an by heart is like the owner of tied camels. If he keeps them tied, he will control them, but if he releases them, they will run away.” (Sahih Bukhari)

With that in mind, I resolved to change many routines in my life in order to adopt the correct attitude and put my heart and soul into this, for it will be a lifelong commitment for me. I am by no means there yet, and I struggle to renew my intentions every day, praying for guidance and a sincere heart.

Getting into the place to do my 'project' was thankfully made easy by the fact that my sponsor happened to manage a local tahfiz school (secondary + diploma), and so I managed to squeeze in as a special request at an odd time of the year and had all my expenses covered. I'm staying at the school hostel now, and am allowed to go home during weekends (like now ;D).

My class runs for only two hours every day, where I join the tahfiz diploma students in their Quran class (ten students in my class), reciting our memorisations in front of our teacher. After the class, I'll be left on my own for the rest of the day, repeating previous memorisations and learning new verses. Sometimes I stay in the classroom or musalla, but mostly I opt to seek solitude (ideal condition for me to memorise) in my bedroom, which I share with three diploma students. During my four-month stay, my daily life revolves simply around the small corners of the hostel, classroom, musalla, and cafeteria, all of which are situated adjacent to one another. Oh, and I've been to the auditorium hall a couple of times for special events.

Food is generously provided here, being considered a private school. Meals are served six times per day, and the menu, I must say, is much better than what I had encountered in government boarding schools. Answering the question of whether certain food are advocated/discouraged here for the sake of memorisation- no, most people here eat everything! Hehe. I do set personal rules on eating though, as I had discovered just how important it is for the overall balance of the body and mind. No matter what you decide to eat, the rule of thumb is to always eat moderately. Eating a lot is a recipe for disaster for students, especially for someone on an intensive program like me. I also try, to the best of my ability, to follow some of the sunnah of the prophet pertaining to diet, which I recommend for everyone to do as well.

Maintaining our hifz (memorisation) is all about getting into a routine of making Al-Quran an integral part of our daily lives, and, to uphold the high level of consistency, it is essential to allow genuine love for Al-Quran to enter and settle in our hearts. There are endless ways to achieve this, but I'll just mention some of the practices done here that I hope will benefit everyone who reads this:-

1) reciting Al-Ma'thurat after subh and maghrib prayers in a jamaah. An example of supplications taught by our prophet to purify our hearts.
2) tazkirah after subh and asr. Necessary reminders for the forgetful soul.
3) fasting on Thursdays (compulsory upon every student). Fasting does wonders for the heart, and it does not affect the rate of memorisation at all (I normally get hungry easily after working my brain hard ;p).
4) reciting surah Al-Mulk after isya' prayers in a jamaah. Our prophet told us that this surah will be our companion and protection from the trials in the grave.
5) hajat prayer after maghrib in a jamaah. Performing optional prayers can be difficult for many people, thus it's a good practice to incorporate this as part of the students' routines.

And the list goes on. I wish to share more, but this is beginning to turn into a never-ending essay, and I have not the luxury of time to indulge in it. ;D I have to say one thing though- many people have offered kind words upon learning about my current endeavour, sometimes a little too kind, if you get what I mean. I sure hope i have become a better person throughout all this, inshaallah, but I am not above others who didn't get the chance to memorise Al-Quran. It has been Allah's mercy upon me to be doing this, but I am but a drop in the ocean- many others are striving in their own different ways to gain His favours, and may Allah guide us all.

I hope to continue sharing this precious experience, sure, but as usual, no quick promises... hehe. Have a good day everyone, and to my close friends who read this, I miss you guys badly (tibe2 plak ;p). ♥

And happy birthday to my mother, my most loyal former blog reader (I think she has stopped reading my blog after I entered the maahad tahfiz. Hehe).

Of Perfection and Efforts

Lately I find myself lost in some swirls of serious thoughts, sparked by what I mostly see on my facebook news feeds every weekend and a request by a friend a while ago to share the experience I am going through now, which I was not very much inclined to do at that time for a number of reasons. I’m still wary about it, for the sake of my heart, which our beloved prophet s.a.w. has illustratively described to be ‘more unstable than the boiling water in a pot’ and is like ‘a feather at the trunk of a tree that the wind keeps turning it upside down’. I do realise, however, the obligation compelled upon me to call for good and denounce evil, and inshaallah (God-willing), I hope to share some of the precious jewels of an experience that have come to my possession the past couple of months.

To begin with, I’d like to clarify the reason I’m writing this (me with prologue after prologues =_=). I’m often reluctant to put things across bluntly for fear of being a... hypocrite (that is, not practicing what you preach), but a lot of times, especially in this day and age, people just need others to shake them hard for them to come around. It occurs to me that many people today do not actually realise the reality of life we live in today. Speaking from the Islamic perspective, all of us believe in the existence of an eternal hereafter, wherein we will be judged on our actions in life on earth and be sent to heaven or hell accordingly. We believe in the transition world before that- “Al-Barzakh”, the waiting period after we died before being resurrected on Judgment Day.

The way we live our lives though, often does not reflect the essence of our beliefs. Most of us are still trapped by the lures of this world, dedicating the better part of our time attaining material comfort whilst trying our best (or not) at the same time to abide by the five pillars of Islam- the shahadah, praying five times a day, fasting in Ramadhan, paying the zakat, and the hajj.

By not putting our faith and religion at the driver’s seat of our everyday lives, we are abandoning the sunnah of our prophet and the companions, the mentality that has propelled them to become the greatest nation at their time, the best of people in every aspect of life. It is the mentality to be the best in everything we do, and in the context of what we so lack of today, the best in practicing our way of life that is Islam.

We pray five times a day, but our minds wander off to other wonders of life each and every time; we wear hijab, but our clothes readily show the curves of our bodies; we eat halal food, but we also eat excessively and unhealthily; the list is inexhaustible.

Many of us live life as though it will come to an end with death. Hence we get driven by money, power, fame, social status and entertainment, leaving very little space for the remembrance of God. We hope our daily prayers, fasting in Ramadhan and zakat will suffice to carry us through to the gardens of paradise, which they might, but can we be sure about that? We live in this world only once, that much is true, but are we to settle for a carefree and enjoyable life now, and spend the rest of eternity in misery?

A mindset that should befit every muslim is the desire to achieve perfection- to be the best that we can possibly be, despite our flaws, to reach the top. We know there are levels and ranks in jannah (paradise). Do you wish to be rewarded with the lowest rank of jannah, or be at the top, amongst the prophets, the siddiqun, the syuhada’, and the salihun? Would we settle for second best when we can have the best? This is by no means arrogance on our parts- Allah is All-powerful, All-Encompassing and All-Merciful, He knows what’s in our hearts- our hopes and fears, our loves and desires. The rightful realisation of our weak and sinful state does not rob the right to hope and dream to be amongst those Allah would chose as His beloveds. After all, as our blessed prophet s.a.w. had phrased in a beautiful hadith, everyone would be with those whom he loves.

Bearing this in mind, I have learned that it’s our (sincere) efforts which will make the difference to Him. We have this one and only opportunity to determine where we will be for the rest of eternity, so I say, let’s go for broke! Yes, Rasulullah s.a.w. told us to exercise moderation, even in our acts of worship, but the truth is most of us are just lazy bums. We don’t do but a meagre of what we are really capable to do, and most of us are rather content with it.

Everyone has their own unique potentials and means to attain nearness to God, so let’s all reach for that extra little something inside the pockets of our hearts, and inshaallah, He will give us a hand and carry us closer and closer towards His love and mercy.

(Yes, I know I haven’t told my story yet. Next up, inshaallah).

Thoughts on a rainy day

1. The monsoon has been in full gallop for the past few days- my father has even decided to stay overnight at his workplace in Kerteh today due to bad conditions on the road. I hope everything will be smooth for my trip to KL this weekend (I'm attending a wedding of a friend! Finally!).

2. My mother has found an effective tool to keep tabs on (some of) her children for quite a while now. Yup, you guessed it. There were a couple of times when she would call me from work and said, "Ask your brother what he meant by his status just now on Facebook?" or that she couldn't access the wall of another sibling, was she the only one being barred? Sometimes things are discovered even quicker through Facebook than a normal daily conversation, which just tickles me!

Example collected this morning on the way to breakfast:

Mum: Maman pedih hidung ye guna nasal spray tu?
brother: Uh?
Mum: tu yang Maman tulis tu (kat Facebook)...

3. I'm currently reading two of Sheikh Imran Hosein's works. I attended his lecture last week and what a wonderful privilege it was. I do have a number of questions and disagreements over some of his views, but all in all he is doing brilliantly on the formidable task of opening the eyes of the majority of the ummah on the reality of the world today. There are many scholars out there who seem reluctant, for whatever reasons, to zoom in on the topic of the calamities at the end of times, which is the time we are living in now- everybody should realise just how dire the state we're in at present, how dangerous the fitnah that has befallen our ummah, for us to truly wake up and stave off the evils that are devouring our people inside out.

May Allah place you and me amongst the rightful and guided ones.

1.
"Nothing that is can pause or stay;
The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
The rain to mist and cloud again,
Tomorrow be today."

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I'm trying to embrace change; kindly reciprocate.

2. It sometimes happens, to some certain people, that whenever they try to conquer any of their fears, a greater terror will appear in nothing flat to squash any hope of a raise in their self-regard.

Example: A was scared of frogs. One day, A decided to conquer her fear, so when she saw the frog who always lepak nearby the washing machine one afternoon, she tried to chase it away by stomping her feet, at which moment, another, bigger frog dutifully appeared out of nowhere in front of her. A had a metaphorical heart attack, fled the scene and, to this day, remains scared of frogs.

3. It's autumn over there, monsoon over here. Last year at this time i would be merrily walking back home from school, taking pictures whilst basking in the lush golden spectacle that was autumn. This year at this time I'm doing something even better, so I should be contented (and I am) to have to let go of my favourite season.

4. I just recently discovered the correct way to order tea without milk and sugar at the stall- 'teh o kosong'. Sweet.

5. Every weekend I get back home these days I'll get at least one wedding invitation. I've attended none thus far (not on purpose though!).

6. I wish my father, who just arrived in Phnom Penh today and will push on to Ho Chi Minh tomorrow, a safe journey under the blessings and protection of Allah s.w.t.

7. Happy birthday to my loyal reader (not anymore though I guess, since she has recently ventured into the wonderland called housemanship) and loyal friend, Farah- kullu 'am wa anti bikhair!

8. I shall continue to write in numbered points like this until I rediscover how to write like a proper writer.

Good day everyone.

I miss...

I miss...

1) collecting fallen leaves beneath crimson shaded trees.
2) eating absurdly sweet and juicy plums for iftar.
3) celebrating eid at the mosque, classes and lectures, hostel and flats.
4) feeding the cats outside the hostel.
5) having my weekly usrah.
6) salads at Superman.
7) checking out what's cooking in the kitchen.
8) grabbing something to eat with my girl classmates during class breaks.
9) the crackling sound of my boots caressing the snow in -20s winter.
10) the sound of the train passing by at night.
11) watching ice hockey on tv.
12) watching biathlon on tv.
13) watching almost every other winter sport that doesn't get shown here on tv.
14) Fatin's fruit smoothies (and the ingredient-guessing sessions), Farah's pau sambal udang kering, Sakinah's ayam masak merah, Fahida's pandan cake, Kak Ma's nasi dagang and nasi kerabu, Kak Nadia's carrot cake, Naj's salad, Areena's any-spicy-dish she would come up with, Mekna's late night comfort meals, Mas's sardine rolls, Sakinah jr.'s doughnuts, Sharifah's moist chocolate cake.... ok, I need to stop.
15) praying together with my floor mates.
16) playing and having sleepovers with Aiko.
17) speaking the language.
18) chatting with nice, friendly patients ( who would assume I came from any country other than Malaysia, was 19, and had the impression that Russians were bad people).
19) watching sunrise and sunset from the window.
20) qiyams at Qalam.
21) running and 'lepak'ing at the embankment of Volga with Sin Ye.
22) tulips in April.
23) selling nasi kerabu and nasi hujan panas with Farah.
24) strolling along the central market street brimming with fresh fruits and veggies of the season.
25) pretending to sleep when someone enters the room.
26) Swinging by Kak Ma's and Kak Nadia's room and having meaningful and thought-provoking conversations with them (and other random guests).
27) class parties.
28) surprise birthday parties.
29) sealing the windows for winter.
30) MUMMY and kuliah ahad.
31) the excitement on the eve of every new cycle, wondering which teacher we'll get.
32) after-class detours to Radezh.
33) evening tea-drinking sessions with Fatin (and other random guests at times).
34) bullying Areena.
35) visiting the mosques at Lingoranskaya and Kirovskiy.
36) classes with Vasiliy.
37) outwitting Vasiliy with my classmates on my birthday.
38) first snowfall of the year.
39) praying in what would be considered as odd places elsewhere (i.e muslim countries)- classrooms, lecture halls, fitting rooms, corridors, under the tree...
40) making snowman, the one and only. ;)
41) chatting freely with friends at the stores without worrying that people might overhear our conversations.
42) makan-makan with Ar-Raudhah.
43) Milkis.
44) brisk-walking down the hill to the bus stop for class.
45) cute and cuddly Russian toddlers.
46) my maps and posters and postcards on the wall.
47) cross-country train rides with pearly white beds of snow in winter and gorgeous sunflower fields in summer, amazingly friendly fellow passengers who offer you pickles, lavash and nuts and apples as a goodwill gesture, and super small bunk beds which remind you to be thankful for your squeaky bed back at hostel.
48) skiing.
49) updating my 'budget book'.
50) picnic with Al-Hijr girls.
51) scheming for strategies to elude the hostel guard when the student pass is not at hand.
52) the ever-ringing smoke alarm (ok, this is not true).

Selamat hari raya to all my friends especially those whom I just parted with. Six most educational years of my life, alhamdulillah.

...

There are times when you feel like recoiling from the rackets of the outside world and nestle in your own quiet solitude.

There are times when you wish time wouldn’t seem to elude you so that you can get things done.

There are times when the details and niceties don’t matter and you just want to get to basics.

There are times when you feel frustration, exasperation, anger, happiness, and hope all at the same time.

There are times when you feel weak yet determined.

There are times when you truly feel that faith is the best thing you can possess because it keeps you sane.


Now is one of those times.

The Return of The Dreamer

I had virtually given up hope on being able to write anything of more than facebook-status length anymore, when, one fine fortnight ago, I surprisingly managed to churn out a speech for my Malaysian commencement ceremony within one day. Of course, I had great help from my mother and father then, but it did give me a thread of hope for this one.

Four months have passed since my last tiny post, and a whole chapter of history has passed since then. I’ve graduated and become a doctor, technically speaking. I am yet to feel like one though, and when a staff nurse asked me whether I was a doctor (doing locum perhaps) at my father’s workplace the other day, I told her no, I was just the doctor’s daughter.

Indeed I was. But I have officially added another title of responsibility to my portfolio which will unquestionably be asked of me on the Day of Judgment- slave, daughter, sister, friend, neighbour, student, and now, doctor. No pressure. ;)

In practice, though, I’m still holding on to the role of a student I so cherish for just a little bit more, and if my current plan succeeds, it will be the most satisfying achievement in my eyes so far inshaallah (I’m being cryptic I know, don’t mind me).

I have grown so much over the years and I sincerely thank Allah for planning my life so beautifully for me, making me learn the way I did, something I probably would not have gained had I spent the last 6 years somewhere else on this good earth. I will sorely miss Russia (I already am, actually)- for the colourful seasons, nice local people I’ve met, great variety of sports, speedy internet, beautiful (but difficult!) language, amazing friends… but most of all, I will miss the bountiful lessons of life I’ve had from the whole time I was there. From the many hardships we had encountered, the lack of comfort and familiarity, to the little routines and activities that have become a part of what I was and am today, I treasure them all, and am most thankful for them.

Our weekly usrah sessions have given me better understanding of things that I thought I had understood well, the strength to carry on the message, and lifelong beloved sisters whom I know will always be there with me.

Our maghrib, isha’ and subuh prayers in jamaah (and all five during holidays) have taught me the importance of staying together, helping and reminding each other, and have let me truly feel the sweetness of companionship more than I have ever had.

The lack of halal food, the high-priced goods, and different ways of living have taught me the indelible skills of survival- to restrain, assimilate, compromise, and improvise where necessary. A trip to the grocery store never failed to lift my spirits.

The people at the dean’s office have given me the opportunity to test and build up my level of patience and perseverance.

The floor I stayed in has given me the idea of how an ideal neighbourhood should be, and how an ideal neighbour should be- people looking out for one another, lending things selflessly, offering free home-cooked meals every so often, organising get-togethers and many, many more. Things weren’t perfect, but it sure was close. ;)

Again, I thank Allah for always, always blessing me with good people around me. All the nasty ones usually just pass by fleetingly, those whom I don’t have to deal with constantly.

This is just scratching the surface on a topic I can spend hours talking about. But writing, at my present pace, would take a whole lot longer than that. I hope to get the hang of this once again and just, well… write.

Selamat berbuka puasa dan beribadah. ^_^

Volgograd, february 2011.

Happy Birthday Abah!

As I'm sitting here for what seems like forever, pinching my brain to come up with something to begin this otherwise ultrashort, 3-word post, I begin to wonder of the fate of this blog. In every manner of expression, I have stopped writing and I don't really feel the urge to do so for a good while now. And as I'm about to finish my university education (aargh it hurts terribly saying that) in about 2 months, I suspect this blog will be effectively dilapidated (if it isn't already) and forgotten (a friend told me she has given up waiting for my next entry, hehe) for I'll be busy (or try to) studying for my finals. Will I resume to write again after I've started working, perhaps?

Ha-ha-ha.

Actually, the most real excuse I can give for not going to write anymore- at least for the time being- is that my laptop has gone through a rough patch and I can only fix it when I get back home (cos they charge, like, four times more here. tsk). Hence this late post to wish my dearest father a happy 50th birthday.....! May Allah be pleased with you always, and shower you with love, blessings, guidance and mercy, and unite us in jannah. I love you very much. ^_^