the person whom i love most

The person whom I love most is someone I have never met in my life, but hold dear hope of meeting one day. I was taught to love him ever since I was small, even more than the love I should reserve for my father and mother. It was difficult- I’d read about his life and attributes and I loved and held him in high esteem, but to sincerely love him more than my whole family whom I’ve known for life? Truth be told, I didn’t put in too much effort then to inculcate the feeling in its entirety- I thought it was normal because of the huge chronological gap between us, plus the vague details I knew about his appearance.

But love really does transcend all that. As I grew, I kept reading stories about him I’ve read tens of times before, and each time felt like I was reading something new- their meanings stretched further and further into the nooks and cranny of my heart. I eventually came to understand when, upon finishing a chapter about him, my heart would ache from a sense of longing, and a session wouldn’t pass without a tear being shed. At risk of sounding melodramatic, I had finally found the love I was searching for.

I feel fortunate to be born a Muslim, but at times I do envy Muslim reverts who have willfully sought out the truth and have pure notions about what defines Islam and the true way of living it. And thus, their newfound love is both strong and pure. Contrary to what many would believe, Muslims like me don’t have it all laid out for us. Again, I’m fortunate to be blessed with God-fearing parents, but in a society intertwined with miscellaneous strings of opposing nature i.e. tradition and modernisation, life’s tricky for all. True faith is not a given; you can be a Muslim by name for all your lives, yet your heart is empty.

But I digress. The person that I love most- the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. was a man like no other. He is lauded the world over for his steady success in all aspects of leadership- religious-wise, military-wise, government-wise, yet what strikes most about him is his excellent morals and manners- attributes that have won him many admirers and turned enemies into believers.

“Indeed you stand on an exalted standard of character.” (Al-Qalam 68:4)

Ali ibn abi Talib r.a. has described prophet Muhammad S.A.W. in length:

"He was not vulgar nor did he condone vulgarity, and he was not one to shout in the market place. He did not reward evil with evil, rather, he would forgive and overlook. He never in his life struck anything with his hand except when he was fighting in the name of Allah. He never struck a servant nor a woman, and I never saw him taking revenge for an injustice dealt him, except if the prohibitions of Allah were transgressed. For if the prohibitions of Allah were transgressed he was among the strongest of them in anger. He was never given a choice between two matters but he chose the simpler of the two. If he entered into his home he was a man like any other; cleaning his own garment, milking his own goat, and serving himself.

He would guard his tongue from that which did not concern him. He would attract them (the people) and not repel them. He would ennoble the noble of the people and charge them with their affairs. He was wary of the people and guarded himself against them but without depriving them a warm smile or fitting conduct. He would inquire after his companions and would ask the people about their affairs. He would encourage that which was good and strengthen it, and he would discourage that which was evil and undermine it.

He was balanced and consistent. He would never be neglectful that they would not learn neglect and grow indifferent. He had a provision for every occasion and he never fell short of justice nor exceeded it. The closest people to him were the best among them, and the best among them in his eyes were the most comprehensive in advice. The highest of them in stature with him was the best among them in looking after the people and assisting them.

He would not rise nor sit down without praise [to God]. If he visited a gathering he would sit wherever the group ended (and not at their head) and he encouraged the same. He would give all those sitting with him their just due [to the extent that] they would each feel that none was more important to him than them. If someone were to sit with him or come in search of a favor he would be patient with them until they (the guest) would be the one to leave. Whoever came to him with a request was never turned away except with that which they had asked for or with a kind word.

His cheerfulness and good manners encompassed them all such that he became a father to them and they all became equal in rights. His gatherings were those of knowledge, humbleness, patience, and integrity. In them there would be no raising of voices nor transgressions of prohibitions. They would not expose one-another's errors, but would be equal, encouraging each-other in the fear of God. In them, they would respect their elders, be merciful to their children, give preference to those in need, and protect the stranger."

He continues: "He was continually smiling, gentle in manners, soft in nature. He was not severe, harsh-hearted, loud, abusive, or miserly. He would disregard that which he disliked, and no one ever despaired of him. He never responded to disparagement or evil words.

He forbade upon himself three things: Argument, arrogance, and that which did not concern him. And he relieved the people of three: He would not degrade any among them or abuse them, he would not search after their honor or private matters, and he would not speak except in matters which he hoped to be rewarded for. When he spoke his attendees would lower their heads as if birds had alighted upon them. Once he finished they would speak. They would not vie with one-another in his presence to speak, but when one would talk in his presence the rest would listen until he finished. Speech in his presence was that of the first among them. He would laugh with them, and wonder with them. He had patience with the strangers when they were gruff in speech and requests, to a degree that his companions would fetch them to him. He would say: 'If you see someone in need, fetch him to me.'

He would not accept praise except from those who were balanced and not excessive. He would not interject into someone's speech unless they transgressed, in which case he would either rebuke them or else leave. He was the most generous of heart, truthful of tongue, softest in disposition, and noble in relationship. He who first set eyes upon him feared him, but he who associated with him loved him. Those who described him would say: 'I have never seen before or after him anyone similar to him, peace be upon him'.

All accounts of his life testify to the peerless superiority of his character. How it hurts me then, to read about contortions of truth by some people based on semi-learned facts about the Prophet which they patch together to form a twisted puzzle of an image. Whilst they appear to be pathetic and bedeviled by prejudices, there are seemingly a lot of ignorant people out there who fall prey to those lies. By all means, try to read all objective works on him and you will find that, amongst others, his admirable character is indisputable. The prophet, whilst clearly displaying the most exemplary virtues of a human being, however disliked being praised and put upon a pedestal. Anas ibn Malik said:

"No one was more beloved to us than the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.), [however], if we saw him we would not stand up for him for we knew how much he disliked [for us to do so].”

And on one occasion someone called to him saying: "O best of mankind ..." He replied: "That is Ibrahim, peace be upon him".(Muslim)

By nature he was gentle and kind-hearted, always inclined to be gracious and to overlook the faults of others. Politeness and courtesy, compassion and tenderness, simplicity and humility, sympathy and sincerity were some of the keynotes of his character. One day, he was leading the prayer and intended to make it long, when he heard the cry of a baby. He then shortened the prayer because he didn’t want the mother to be worried and distracted.

Once, a pagan (in another account, a Jew) by the name of Zaid ibn Sa'ana came to the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) in order to collect a debt. When he drew near Muhammad (S.A.W.) he wrenched him by his clothes violently, exposing his shoulder, and spoke rudely at him. Finally, he said: "You sons of Abdul Muttalib are all a procrastinating lot." Immediately, Umar ibn Al-Khattab leapt at him chastising and rebuking him harshly, all the while the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) looked on smiling. Then the Prophet (S.A.W.) said to Umar: "He and I were in need of other than this O Umar; You should have commanded me to excel in my repayment, and have commanded him to excel in his request for repayment." He (Muhammad, S.A.W.) said: "There [still] remains in his term three [days]" However, He (Muhammad, S.A.W.) then immediately commanded Umar to see to his recompensation and to increase him twenty 'saa' (weights) as compensation for the ‘terrorisation’ he had endured (from Umar). This man later became a Muslim. (Al-Bayhaqi, ibn Habban, and Al-Tabarani)

One of the Prophet’s most famous attributes is his matchless generosity. In an authentic hadith narrated by Bukhari, it was said that he was never asked for something and then said ‘no’. Abu Dharr narrated that Allah's Messenger (S.A.W.) said,

"If I had gold equal to the mountain of Uhud, it would not please me that any of it should remain with me after three nights (i.e. I would spend all of it in Allah's cause) except what I would keep for repaying debts." (Bukhari)

Once the Prophet went home in a hurry after the prayer and then immediately came out again. The people were surprised, but he told them that he had remembered during the prayer that there was some gold in his house. He thought that he might forget and the gold might remain there all night. He then went back home to ask that it might immediately be given in charity.

His love for the poor was so deep that he used to pray: "O Allah, keep me poor in my life and at my death and raise me at resurrection among those who are poor." (Nasai)

To his wife he said, "O A'ishah, love the poor and let them come to you and Allah will draw you near to Himself." (Bukhari)

His sense of justice was also unassailable and in a narration by Abu Dawud, the Jews, in spite of their hostility to the Prophet S.A.W., were so impressed by his impartiality and sense of justice that they used to bring their cases to him, and he decided them according to Jewish law.

Once, while he was distributing the spoils of war, people flocked around him and one man almost fell upon him. He pushed the men with a stick causing a slight abrasion. He was so sorry about this that he told the man that he could have his revenge, but the man said, "O messenger of Allah, I forgive you." (Abu Dawud)

The miracle to result from the examples of the Prophet was the staggering transformation in the morals and manners of the people itself, who, not so many years before, were a bunch of brash, discourteous tribesmen, readily spilling blood with one another over wealth, women and status. Iqbal mentions these gifts of Prophet Muhammad in some of his inimitable verses:

He slept on a mat of rushes,
But the crown of Chosroes lay beneath the feet of his followers;
He chose the nightly solitude of Mount Hira,
And founded a nation, law and government;
He passed his nights with sleepless eyes,
That his Millet might sleep on Chosroes throne
In the hour of battle, iron was melted by the flash of his sword.
At prayer time, tears fell like drops of rain from his eyes.
In his prayer for Divine help, his Amen' was a sword,
Which extirpated the lineage of kings.
He inaugurated a new Order in the world,
He brought the empires old to an end:
In his sight the high and the low were one,
He sat with the slave at table one;
He burnt clear the distinctions of birth and clan.
His fire consumed all this trash and bran.

Do we truly appreciate what the Prophet S.A.W. has done for us? Do all of us even realise just how much he loved us and constantly worried about our fate right till the end of his life? Do we truly feel his sorrows in Taif and Uhud? Verse 178 from Surah At-Taubah tugged at my heart whenever I read it:

“Now hath come unto you a Messenger from amongst yourselves: it grieves him that ye should perish: ardently anxious is he over you: to the Believers is he most kind and merciful.”

Let’s all take a moment to reflect on our love for the Prophet and how we can best demonstrate it. Return to the core teachings of Al-Quran and As-sunnah. I realise it’s not enough to offer such general words of advice, yet to list down everything we all know but may have slipped our mind won’t fit into this one article. One of the Prophet’s last words was to uphold solaah, and whilst it is something that I’m sure we all do, let’s all try to improve on the quality of our prayers.

“Establish regular prayers - at the sun's decline till the darkness of the night, and the morning prayer and reading: for the prayer and reading in the morning carry their testimony.

And pray in the small watches of the morning (tahajjud): (it would be) an additional prayer (or spiritual profit) for thee: soon will thy Lord raise thee to a Station of Praise and Glory!”

Al-Isra’:78-79

Allahumma salli ala saiyidina Muhammad waala alihi wasahbihi ajmaiin.

Ps: Materials were extracted from As-Sirah An-Nabawiyyah by Sh. Abul Hasan Ali An-Nadwy.
Pps: To those who managed to read this without skipping so much as a sentence (I know it's long), I hope you have gained some benefits from it. ;)