The Naivety That's Me

Today, reality has faded away and fierce delusion is filling the void. The world can’t get more paradoxical than it already is, and I, even I, have begun to question the path I’m treading, the round earth I’m gravitating desperately so to. Yes, I am aware of the grey patches underlying every predicament there is, yet I can’t ignore the absolute truth that governs every existence, the black and white keeping the nature in balance. I see grey, but I see it only natural to make everything as white as they can possibly be.

When something so misguided is so blatantly served before my eyes, I’m often torn between going all out to set things straight, or just let it be because there’s no point in changing things already spoilt rotten. People toying with my faith, for example. I will by no means fall for their ‘rational’ reasoning and arguments, but should I persist in explaining the wisdoms of my belief, or stop engaging in a presumably fruitless discussion? On one hand, what’s the point in a debate when you already know the results, right? On the other hand, I fear of being a hypocrite- pretending to be all devoted when I do nothing to defend my faith being ridiculed.

Recent discoveries made my stomach crawl at how naive I actually am in facing the many facets of the world. Prejudices abound, people fearing things they don’t even understand, and it’s only deemed politically correct for people to show respect to my religion. I knew about all these already, but the extent of it almost blew me away. I now really do feel like a tiny pea in a giant bowl of… pea soup. So insignificant.

Deep inside though, I’m trying, and hoping to be strong enough to rise against the tides someday. I have one thing which I can hold tight to my chest: my writing. My humble way of conveying thoughts- I wish to make something good out of it, something that will at the very least compel people to think. And now it appears as if I’ve almost forgotten about it. Amidst this so-called busy life of a medical student, ignorance has crept in.

A lot of things happened, but as of this moment, the world is still spinning. So no more excuses to myself, I hope! Nothing quite like writing to disentangle the knots in my head (except perhaps a cup of excellent tea); here’s wishing for better days to every writer out there (that’s about everyone, I guess;)).

Daripada Ali bin Abi Thalib r.a., "Bahawasanya kami sedang duduk bersama Rasulullah saw. di dalam masjid. Tiba-tiba datang Mus'ab bin Umair r.a. dan tiada di atas badannya kecuali hanya sehelai selendang yang bertampung dengan kulit. Tatkala Rasulullah saw.melihat kepadanya Baginda menangis dan menitiskan air mata kerana mengenangkan kemewahan Mus'ab ketika berada di Mekkah dahulu (kerana sangat dimanjakan oleh ibunya) dan kerana memandang nasib Mus'ab sekarang (ketika berada di Madinah sebagai seorang Muhajirin yang terpaksa meninggalkan segala harta benda dan kekayaan diMekkah). Kemudian Nabi Muhammad saw. bersabda, "Bagaimanakah keadaan kamu pada suatu saat nanti, pergi di waktu pagi dengan satu pakaian, dan pergi di waktu petang dengan pakaian yang lain pula. Dan bila diangkatkan satu hidangan diletakan pula satu hidangan yang lain. Dan kamu menutupi (menghias) rumah kamu sepertimana kamu memasang kelambu Ka'bah?". Maka jawab sahabat, "Wahai Rasulullah, tentunya di waktu itu kami lebih baik daripada di hari ini. Kami akan menberikan penumpuan kepada masalah ibadat sahaja dan tidak usah mencari rezeki". Lalu Nabi saw. bersabda, "Tidak! Keadaan kamu di hari ini adalah lebih baik daripada keadaan kamu di hari itu".

H.R. Tarmizi