Things we take for granted

Whenever I feel like the barbed wheel of reality is running berserk over the crowded canvas of my life, tearing it to shreds, some vibrant colours of hope would unexpectedly splash in and revert my entire outfit of emotions. To perceive my string of calamities as bad luck would be an act of ignorance- I practically attracted all those troubles to myself. I’m a trouble magnet. To settle for the notion still, is a crude act of cowardice- ruminating over a mug of hot chocolate won’t change a thing. Neither would blogging about it. Though the comforting thought of still having His blessings over and over again despite my constant stupidity keeps my spirit breathing... Alhamdulillah.

I owe a giant thank you to my parents, especially my father, for helping me through my bankcard ‘fiasco’. A thank you is never enough- some sense of gratitude can’t be easily expressed by a few clicks of keys. My friends and I had a talk recently on how much we rely on our parents to get by with our lives. Three friends of my friend had lost a parent each in the past week and even though people die every second of the day, the actuality of it hits you like a rock when it happens to someone you know (or someone you know, know). All of us realised that more often than not, we do not appreciate our loved ones enough, especially our parents. We call them when we need their help, or to wish them on their birthdays. It’s not often that we spare time for them just because. I’m saying we, ‘cause I would like to believe that I’m not the only person in the world who thinks he/she hasn’t been a good enough son/daughter, although these claims I know are directed exclusively at me, me, me. Once, a while ago, I called my mum and she mistook me for my sister. When I corrected her, she said that I hadn't called for so long she didn't recognise my voice anymore. It was jokingly said, I know, but it was true. In some ways I can steal the geographical factor as some kind of an excuse, but thinking back, I didn’t do enough when I was back home either. People keep saying not to take things for granted, but we do, we do... I do. I do it every single day.

At the end of the day, I thank Him for the host of opportunities laid before me in life- the gift of wonderful people around me who never get tired of my never-ending antics (maybe they do… maybe I’m being dense. Ouch.) , the doors to success just waiting for me to open ‘em (need to find the keys first though, hehe), the clarity of conscience to slap me back to hard reality from time to time, the ability to correct my mistakes, the gleaming torch of Ad-din to guide me when all other lights go dark…

Am I in one of those moods again, you ask? Truth is, I’m in this mood all the time. Most of the time, I just don’t feel like letting it out, so it’s slotted in between my chirpy babble-talk or lousy jokes. Deep inside, I’m kinda gloomy, yeah. Plus I like wearing black headscarf and has, since that day, been asked a few more times about it by curious Russians. Thinking of ditching it (already did actually, am donning white now).

I see I’m not making much sense at this point. Got to study for a test tomorrow anyways. Azleen, I need your pencahayaan agung.