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Saturday, October 09, 2010

Rollercoaster Ride

My final year as a medical student commenced in quite an uncharacteristic fashion- new russian teachers and too many free hours. The latter is expected to come to an end this week, and, as incredulous as this may sound, I kind of look forward to it. The Russian-teacher experience, meanwhile, has come full circle- our 1st year teacher, who gave us up when she was afflicted with illness four years ago, is making a comeback. Things don't seem so promising when some of us apparently still have nightmares from yesteryear, but I remain optimistic. ;)

***

Let's fast-forward to three weeks later. I've become so good at procrastinating, I should get a medal. Anyway, the breaking news of this week is that we're approaching the coldest winter here in 1000 years- tell me if that doesn't sound amazing. Hehe. It's only the beginning of the second month of autumn and we're already talking 3-5 degrees in the morning, 8-10 degrees in the afternoon. Our room has slowly begun to resemble the fridge in the kitchen and if the trend continues, by the end of this month, I predict, we'll reach freezer standard (I'm only half-joking here). There's an urban myth which has been circulating in town since the day I set foot here, saying that if the temperature ever reaches -40 degrees or so, we can all pack our bags and go home. It'd be interesting to put it to test and if this so-called coldest-winter claim is bona fide, I might just spend my winter hols. this year at home! ^_^

I just withstood a metaphorical roller coaster ride for the past couple of weeks, reaching the highest of the high, the lowest of the low, without completely understanding the reason of it all. I later did understand, and thank God for that, for now I feel the strength and conviction to keep one step ahead of my own self. Pardon the obscurity of my words, nobody but few will understand the emotional chaos I've just been through; I suddenly feel the need to write it down now, at 12.22 in the morning, when the night is still and the heart is tender. I came to feel the most priceless feeling from what I've gone through lately- that even if the people you count on most let you down, even if the whole world is against you (yes, try to imagine that), you will always have Allah. He will never leave you. I truly felt that during one of the many not-so-great moments of late, and it was the most comforting feeling I've had. It lifted the pressure off your chest, made you realise your own shortcomings, and most importantly, it made you forgive the people around you, because everything that had happened suddenly seemed so trivial. I hope He will not take this away from me and let it be my thin gossamer thread towards getting closer to Him. Inshaallah.

Good day, everyone. :)

6 comments:

dith said...

I pray that the prediction of Russia having the coldest winter in 1000yrs will not materialize. Your description of the past winters in Volgograd is enough to send shudders down my spine and I can't imagine anything worse than that.

As if contemplating the coming winter, your mood too has decided to play tricks on you eh? Be strong Fi. InsyaAllah everything will be fine. And remember, however thin that gossamer thread of yours is, insyaAllah, it can be the strongest link to Allah swt. Hold on tight to it.

Ikelah said...

dah habis baca buku tu? abah belum lagi...tapi ada buku lain pulak tgh baca....hehehehe

take care. My Allah pprotect you, give you guidance and strength.

ifos said...

mak- our polyclinic therapy teacher: "who told we're going to have the coldest winter in 1000 years?"

us: "the news..."

teacher: "they're lying."

haha.

thank you for the words of encouragement, mak. :)

Abah- sikiiiit lagi nak abis. mcm tergendala jap time polyclinic cycle. abah bace buku ape lagi?

thank you for the advice. :)

love you both! ♥♥

Ikelah said...

Buku hiJad... kalau nak nanti abah poskan.

coldest in 1000 yr.... membohong! mcm mana depa tahu 1000yrs ago suhu sejuk sangat. mcm mana depa measure suhu tu? mcm mcmla depa ni...

ok...take care...bye

zyryx said...

ooo the coldest winter in a millenium?if it gets to that please tell the icy details..i miss it...
o yeah .i know this sounds cruel, but that means u might have more chances to open up cadavers..or not

ifos said...

abah- nak! hehe.

zyryx- we're going through the 'babe lyeto' phase now, so no icy details as of yet. :) and we're past forensic medicine so i don't see any possible encounters with cadavers in the near future anymore (and i am happy about this fact). ^_^