Clumsy's my middle name

I’m an extremely clumsy person. A day would not pass without me having to scrub either my t-shirt, the carpet, or my bed sheet courtesy of accidental tragedies disguised as ketchups, drinks, oil, chili paste (this was yesterday by the way), and so on. It gets frustrating all the time- and not to mention physically tormenting. Something must be curiously wrong with the muscles of my fingers!

As an extra precaution, I feel the need to reiterate my warning a long, long time ago in one of my entries: do not ever think of employing me as your maid- I will burn your house down. A bit of an exaggeration there, you think?? Think again ;) But don’t worry, that’s about the worst thing that could happen within the sound scope of my logical reasoning--> which isn’t that reliable actually, so, well… Whatever catches your wildest imagination, then. Teehee.

The sun has been grinning non-stop these days, but the wind refuses to give up either. I’m perfectly sitting on the fence in this matter- good fight, guys =)

One small fragment of thoughts

Treading along the sidewalk at the heart of the city on my own one recent afternoon (though only for 15 minutes en route to a meeting) allowed me a distinctive occasion to observe the surroundings and swathe in the pure scent of unfamiliarity all around me. In a queer way, it did not rattle me to the least- a little welcoming, in fact. I’ve tried quite intently these days to detach myself from petty impedances- not to sweat the small stuff and let them corrupt my whole purpose of survival. I understand the degree of responsibility entrusted to me as a Muslim, daughter, sister and friend, and the purist in me hungers for perfection of my role(s). I’m not that arrogant to mean that factually- by perfection, I mean to go all out and do my best. To go overboard in earning my rights amongst the blessed fractions of mankind in the hereafter.

I realise that I would sound like a total ignorant with these mundane proclamations but more often than not, the better of us humans are so caught up in our worldly affairs that we would unconsciously tilt our scale towards the other side- the transient phase of our existence. As for me… there have been times… the times when I could have just kept quiet but chose to open my mouth and end up hurting people’s feelings without meaning to do so. The times when I get too emotionally involved in something and end up hurting my own morale unnecessarily. The times when I forget that Allah has mapped out His plans for each one of us and all we have to do is follow the straight path to Him. The times when I feel totally aghast upon witnessing the corruption of men but realise that I haven’t done anything to put a stop to it. The times when friendships and social standards win against firmly standing up for what is right and thus overshadow my better sense of judgement.

Prayers- are those enough for a weak soul like me who feels she hasn’t put in adequate efforts in everything for herself, let alone for the world?

Effort. A big word with great determination as prerequisite. I don’t know if I possess enough of that in my bones. History has testified that I would often draw back from giving out my best… for the fear of failing miserably. Stupid, yes. But just to clarify matters, I’m not a complete wreck- I just feel I haven’t been doing enough for the good of me. A great obstacle that I wish to overcome, and soon… insyaallah. Our efforts may not prove to be fruitful in this lifetime, but Allah knows the sincerity of our intentions. And He is the best amongst all givers.

I should most definitely pick up my anatomy textbook and begin reading. ;p

A note of good health

I feel a very good vibe around me lately, despite some superficial inconveniences (read: acne, tests, acne). Life is indeed full of surprises =)

" And with Him are the keys of the invisible. None but He knoweth them. And He knoweth what is in the land and the sea. Not a leaf falleth but He knoweth it, not a grain amid the darkness of the earth, naught of wet or dry but (it is noted) in a clear record." - Al- An'am: 59

Let's talk about the... weather!

It seems like the winter is reluctant to say goodbye… instead of sunshine, green grass and blossoming flowers everyone has been anticipating for March, we received a very amiable (yes, a hint of sarcasm there) parting gift in the form of a gale for the last couple of days and even a bit of a blizzard yesterday. The fierce, unrelenting might of the wind could really sweep you of your feet, big time (if the slippery pavement does not get you first, that is) and had I a little fragment of sense-which I hadn’t- I would have just stayed home and read a book. Speaking of which, I just found out from a friend about this bookstore- probably the only one in the city (or one of very very few, if any) which stocks English paperback classics. Sad as it sounds, I was thrilled! Hence the purchase of three happy copies, which were probably stuck there between the shelves since the dawning of men, screaming for attention.

“The Time Machine” by Herbert G. Wells
“The Quiet American” by Graham Greene
“Death on the Nile” by Agatha Christie.

Ok, just for the record there ;p

Alright, where were we before I digressed… ah, the weather. I queerly found the wind-snowstorm-slippery track combo fascinating- an altogether unique ensemble of experience that I have never tasted before firsthand. A bit scary, yes, and very humbling to the core. The genuine extent of the unpredictable forces of nature is being demonstrated before my very eyes, although this is not the worst scenario that could have surfaced, of course. I saw a girl holding on to a pole to steady herself, my sister related on how she had to cling to a car’s boot to avoid being engulfed by the wind, and yesterday my friends huddled together as they walked, for better stability. And ah, I’m about to wander off from the main topic again. Speaking of yesterday- we went ice-skating and had a whale of a good time, despite the fact that I fell down flat on my bottom twice and had countless of wobbly moments (I was very watchful of my weak knees, mak and abah, so no worries ;p). And you should watch those Russians- they were darn good! I glanced at some of them with envy as they played train and tag (imagine that on ice. I wish!) with one another in effortless movements. So, obviously... this calls for a second trip! And third and fourth and fifth! Hehe.

This morning I had the fortunate opportunity to observe a cat exhibition and later, a sushi treat near Volga. Many of the cats were simply gorgeous and I was deeply reminded of my cats back home. Blimey. I’m missing them!


at the exhibition: a kitten sleeping