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Sunday, February 17, 2008

A sorry post

Little can soothe these ruffled feathers at the moment; it’s like one of those bad hair days- stuff that won’t literally curse you to eternal doom but enough to make you feel like shaving your head off and start fresh. (Ahem). I’ve been in quite a scuffle with my time management lately, wanting to do this and that, but end up watching a super lousy film in between wasting away several empty DVDs (long story) and dealing with a suspected virus-infested laptop (scans came out clean- but then why is it painstakingly slow and lagging here and there? After I’ve deleted a lot of unused programs too). Starting of the new semester had me reeling with mixed emotions- of relieved farewell to a dreary subject, excitement on a new one, and pure repulsion at the timetable which had us have most of the lectures in the afternoon, in between two classes. It won’t rob me off my naptime; however, I’d prefer to be spared the guilt.

Back to my bulldozed state of mind, even now I can’t help but write junk, teetering away from my original intended piece of writing, which should be, of course, about my recent travel to UK. I will write about it, the soonest I can get after restoring some gravity back to my flailing, sorry self (and closet).

It is still winter in Russia.

ps: Happy 46th birthday to my mother (18th February)! Hope you'd had a wonderful day, one filled with joy and blessings from Allah. And happy belated birthday to my sister Aliah, who turned 17 on 14th February. I love you both.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

One down, two more to go! I’m about to be thrown into the super-zigzag world of Philosophy (my next paper), so I better write something sane here now as proof of my existence. Hehe. (ayat pun dah mengarut dah).

When I started to write in my own blog in April 2004, I didn’t really expect it to last until now. There were the issues of venturing into my personal thoughts, meeting new people, honing my rusty writing skills, fueling creative drive- all of which made me think for quite a long time before starting to blog, almost as long as the time spent to pick up the colour for my very first template ;p Sometimes I may look carefree, but I’m actually at a constant alarm of what people may think of me. So when a few people left comments in my first few entries, I was on cloud nine for a good while. These people encouraged me to keep writing, and so I did.

Some of them seem to have not written in their respective blogs for a while, so to afie, ayumi, crimsonskye, wiTcHh4Z3L, F3154L, inositol- I’m giving you guys my vote of confidence to update your blog! =D And to pycnogenol and hiyoshi too- thank you for the support all this while, if none of you guys read my blog and left positive comments, I would not have been stuck with this blogging business and cause my mum, dad, uncles and aunts to become curious and eventually jump on the bandwagon as well :) Thank you.


Pose berasa manja. 31st December 2005.


Merpati dua sejoli (?) 27th April 2006.


Merajuk dah kawan tu... 27th April 2006.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Exam mode

Happy New Year 1429 to all Muslims out there. =D

I’m sitting for my finals, starting this Monday. Ain’t winter exams the greatest… haha. Not. I have many other things to contend with- the weather, for example. And my acne. Hehe. And then there’s this little matter of me not being that keen on all the coming exam subjects for different reasons. But I’m trying to cope, so yet again, please, Mak and Abah, no lecturing here.;p Another point worth mentioning- my mind keeps dallying around the thought of my upcoming trip to the UK- not the trip per se, but the puzzling donkeywork prior. We have to return all library books, get some signatures here and there, blabla, more signatures, before we can finally collect our visa. I forget about the details of the procedure every time, but I do remember that it curiously resembles a treasure hunt, with all the scattered checkpoints. So good luck to me this time; I’m lucky to have two days after my final paper before leaving.

About the trip: my sister and I are visiting our icky li’l bro, who is currently studying in Bristol, for 10 days. Hopefully we can also meet up with Aunty Farah, our father’s cousin, who is doing her masters in Cranfield. Anyone else in the UK who wishes to extend their courtesy to us travellers, I thank you in advance.:)

ps: with regards to exams, I'm posting some pics that we managed to take with some of our lecturers last week of the semester i.e. two weeks ago. ;)


Assoc. Prof. Alexei Vladimirovich Smirnov, our Pathological Anatomy lecturer cum favourite lecturer this sem (great teaching, great sense of humour)


Diana Vladimirovna, our Surgery lecturer. I thought female surgeons might be a li'l bit skema (as opposed to male surgeons who mostly have this couldn't-care-less attitude), but well, I guess she's still one of 'em! Haha.


Valentina Andreyevna, our Russian lecturer. Very kay-poh, but lovable.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Twenty-two sounds nice

Dearest Faezar, happy birthday! Kullu ‘aamin wa anti bikhair, inshaallah…

I knew Faezar at the same time I got to know Azleen. Azleen was the class monitor, she was the assistant. She lived at the end of my road back then, though we didn’t really become friends till I transferred to their class. The earliest sort of acquaintance I remember between us took place one day not long after I entered my new school- I was cycling whilst holding an ice lolly, when it suddenly slipped from my hand and fell onto the road. As I was picking it up, I noticed someone was looking, and saw Faezar sitting by the gate of her house. We exchanged smiles but I had no idea who she was at the time. Hehe. That was the beginning of our friendship, I guess. :)

Throughout the years, she’s been a fantastic friend, and we had a very colourful relationship, perhaps slightly too colourful at times. Hehe. Indeed there were rough patches along the way, but at the end of the day, she is still one of the most wonderful persons I’ve ever met and befriended. You can’t find a better listener, and a friend more loyal than her. Every time I returned home during the hols., she would make time so we could meet- even if she had classes on Saturday, i.e. spending on a less-than-a-day-trip back home. It may not mean a lot to some people, but it does to me.

One thing I truly admire about her is her strong conviction in her actions. And if she had a change of mind, she really meant it. When she first told me that she was switching her course from Medicine to Law, I was very surprised, as was everybody else. Many thought she’d made a mistake, but never once I heard her being in doubt or regretting her decision (but maybe if she hid it from me, I don’t know. Hehe.). Now, seeing her all well and excelling in her studies, I know she made the right choice… And even if she’s to change her mind in the future, she’ll do great nonetheless. Because that's just the kind of person she is. =D

Hope this makes your day. ;)


Dahulu


Sekarang

Friday, January 04, 2008

Winter goodness

Note: the following accounts were separately written according to the time frame.

Three weeks ago.

Forlorn grey cloaked the sky for the past week; no more rays of evanescent warmth for you sun-lovers. Haha. I’m quite the sadist. Although now I’m actually the one having a jolly hard time contending with the frosty wind that keeps finding their shrewd way into our already-sealed windows. So by right I should be shuddering at this turn of weather and pray hard for spring to come to light. But I’m not, because… well. I love winter. Even if I did fall last week on the icy slope and got a brilliant green bruise on my thigh, or that my fingers were this close to getting frostbite (hyperbole) from dusting snow crumbs off my bag (inside out, too) due to evil works of a classmate (I got him back big time; don’t ever mess with the snow queen. Hoho). Because, because, because… the sight of pure white grounds beneath your feet with sparkling diamonds of frozen canopy above your head on the way to class is simply worth it. It’s like something out of Narnia, as someone puts it; enough to make anyone’s heart spouting poetry (a bad example in my case as you can see).

A fortnight ago.

When snow melts, there goes all the fun. In fact, that’s when trouble beckons. Picture streams, not just puddles, of mud that bar you from crossing the road to get to your hostel, and so you keep walking upward to find a better way out. The trouble is, there is no better way out, and you keep swaggering further and further from your destination until you’ve had it and decide to cross anyway, even though it means drenching the kain of your baju kurung, and yes, it is eid morning. Silver lining? It snows afterwards! And thank God for black baju kurungs =p

Last week.

Too slippery for words. Numerous wobbly moments. (Fall-o-meter: 0. Yay!).

Last night.

Temperature: 20-something degrees below zero. expected to reach 30 during the coming weekend.

Remember Balrog from the mines of Moria in The Lord of The Rings? Remember the dum-dum sounds the Fellowship heard before that fiery ancient demon appeared (did those come from him or the Orcs before that, btw? Argh, must have a rerun again sometime soon.)? Well, the sounds banging against the window of our room at this moment eerily resemble the aforesaid ones. Outside, you can even see violent swirls of wind as they fuse with traces of snowflakes (I saw but a glimpse from the kitchen window, a friend related the more violent ones). Luckily it’s a one-week New Year holiday now, so I don’t have to experience this vicious side of Mother Nature firsthand. But then, being cooped up in the hostel isn’t such a cozy idea either, since our condition here is nowhere near the word cozy, or even acceptable. We’re living in a giant freezer. Imagine me wearing long johns, two woolen jumpers, an over-sized sweater, two pairs of socks, and shivering after half an hour typing on the laptop…(?!!) And they forbid us to buy our own heater because we may whack the circuit dry, which is the case every night because almost everybody secretly owns a heater anyway (not me, though. I’m an Eskimo wannabe). And can anyone blame these people after seeing those feeble, metal thingies they suspiciously call heaters? It’s come to a point where I have to sleep either with my headphones on or by cocooning my entire body inside the blanket because my ears can’t stand the cold. Sad, sad, sad. I already lodged a complaint to our rep so, well, I guess we can only wait. And wait we will, do count on it.




Both pics: Frost on glass. 9th February 2006.


Motifs on the wall of the central market. 8th April 2006.


Impressive facade of a bank, somewhere nearby the academy. 17th July 2006.


Messing around with fallen leaves. 15th November 2005.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Let justice prevail

This is waaay outdated, but I just paid a visit to my uncle's fotopage, and found this awesome piece of photojournalism. And another awesome piece by another uncle. Being far away from home, I did get my dose of news from Malaysian mainstream media, amongst others. Reminding myself that any form of media were entitled to chunks of bias, it wasn't until a friend who took part in the rally related his version of events that I came close to knowing the whole story. And thanks to these brilliant works too. Like what Acu said, and I quote, Malaysia' political theatre is about to change.

And I pray hard for that.

Kudos, uncles! Hehe.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Bottleneck part of life

Last week of the semester- I can't believe it's finally here. Caught in the maelstrom of concluding tests as per norm (four to be exact), I should be at about the end of my tether now from nonstop slogging, right? Unfortunately, life's not that simple. Hehe. What am I babbling... Anyway. The talk about town (read: my circle of friends. hence very small town. lol) lately seemed to revolve around that bottleneck part of life: adulthood. It sorta stings to admit that we’ve now reached the status of adults… for my part at least.

Looking back, I did go through the phase of eagerly wanting to grow up and dismissing warnings from certain adults at the time about the burdens of adulthood that came with the freedom, especially when they kept telling us to enjoy our teenage years whilst they lasted. My juvenile thought then- these people had probably forgotten what it was like to be a teenager- the most difficult job in the world. Haha. Not quite, but almost. Now I'm thinking, how selfish and immature I was back then. Yet I wonder: is it simply because of the experience that makes us reconsider our position, or that our thinking process has completely evolved over the years and changed us so? For whenever I was misunderstood as a teenager, my first thought would be- why couldn't they understand? Weren’t they teenagers once? On the other hand, I've found myself starting to laugh off some of my younger sister's thoughts and complaints as 'those angst-y moments'; she probably thinks I'm sounding more and more like a mak cik too (hopefully not).

I actually fear that- the thought that I might forget what it's really like to be a teenager. I'd like to think that I've only become more mature and wiser as I grow older, but it's just a whole different system of thoughts really, between teenagers and adults. Experience does warrant for some of an adult’s altered outlooks, which may be better, but at times it comes down to the fact that we interpret things with different eyes, both of which may be right and sound in their own respect. And appreciating both entities of cognition will help adults to identify with younger generation better and develop mutual understanding between the two. Teenagers can't possibly stand in adults' shoes as they've never been one themselves, thus I hope not to forget the essence of my teenage years- so I can probably fill in some blanks during any run-in with my younger contemporaries in the future.

I realise I'm sounding rather cryptic and probably not making a lot of sense to most people. And further, I'm only 21. I may be allowed to vote, but adulthood calls for more than casting a ballot, or making lists of groceries to buy. I constantly worry about everything there is, yet I make silly mistakes all the time. When I finally thought I might have figured things out, something outrageous would come up to wash any notions away. I’ve a long way to go. And a belated birthday card a few days ago with the words “Welcome to adulthood love!” added considerably to the pressure. Haha. Thank you for the vote of confidence, but for now, and I suspect a good more while to come, I’m still a teenager.

On another unrelated matter- since I won’t have a camera for at least the next seven months or so, I’m going to post old, never-before-published pictures. Hehe. Just to kill some time browsing through my folders, as I’ve got nothing better to do other than studying for the aforesaid tests (Mak and Abah, please don’t kill me for saying this). =)


The closest thing to a surau we could get in the academy. 8th December 2005.


Farah waiting for prayer time. 8th December 2005.


23rd October 2005. These days she could practically hide the laptop underneath her furry body.


What could be so funny about Latin, eh? 17th March 2006.


At Mamayev Kurgan; Mother Russia in far background (I forgot the name of the other statue). 26th May 2006.

To be continued... :)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Hari Arafah

KEUTAMAAN 10 HARI PERTAMA BULAN DZULHIJJAH DAN AMALAN YANG DISYARIATKAN

Oleh
Syaikh Abdullah bin Abdurrahman Al-Jibrin

Segala puji bagi Allah semata, shalawat dan salam semoga tercurah kepada Rasulullah, Nabi kita Muhammad, kepada keluarga dan segenap sahabatnya.


KEUTAMAAN 10 HARI YANG PERTAMA BULAN DZULHIJJAH.

Diriwayatkan oleh Al-Bukhari, Rahimahullah, dari Ibnu 'Abbas Radhiyallahu 'Anhuma bahwa Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda :

"Artinya : Tidak ada hari dimana amal shalih pada saat itu lebih dicintai oleh Allah daripada hari-hari ini, yaitu : Sepuluh hari dari bulan DzulHijjah. Mereka bertanya : Ya Rasulullah, tidak juga jihad fi sabilillah ?. Beliau menjawab : Tidak juga jihad fi sabilillah, kecuali orang yang keluar (berjihad) dengan jiwa dan hartanya, kemudian tidak kembali dengan sesuatu apapun".

Imam Ahmad, Rahimahullah, meriwayatkan dari Umar Radhiyallahu 'Anhuma, bahwa Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda :

"Artinya : Tidak ada hari yang paling agung dan amat dicintai Allah untuk berbuat kebajikan di dalamnya daripada sepuluh hari (DzulHijjah) ini. Maka perbanyaklah pada saat itu tahlil, takbir dan tahmid ".


MACAM-MACAM AMALAN YANG DISYARIATKAN

[1]. Melaksanakan Ibadah Haji Dan Umrah

Amal ini adalah amal yang paling utama, berdasarkan berbagai hadits shahih yang menunjukkan keutamaannya, antara lain : sabda Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam:

"Artinya : Dari umrah ke umrah adalah tebusan (dosa-dosa yang dikerjakan) di antara keduanya, dan haji yang mabrur balasannya tiada lain adalah Surga".

[2]. Berpuasa Selama Hari-Hari Tersebut, Atau Pada Sebagiannya, Terutama Pada Hari Arafah.

Tidak disangsikan lagi bahwa puasa adalah jenis amalan yang paling utama, dan yang dipilih Allah untuk diri-Nya. Disebutkan dalam hadist Qudsi :

"Artinya : Puasa ini adalah untuk-Ku, dan Aku lah yang akan membalasnya. Sungguh dia telah meninggalkan syahwat, makanan dan minumannya semata-mata karena Aku".

Diriwayatkan dari Abu Said Al-Khudri, Radhiyallahu 'Anhu, Rasulullah Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda :

"Artinya : Tidaklah seorang hamba berpuasa sehari di jalan Allah melainkan Allah pasti menjauhkan dirinya dengan puasanya itu dari api neraka selama tujuh puluh tahun". [Hadits Muttafaq 'Alaih].

Diriwayatkan oleh Imam Muslim dari Abu Qatadah Rahimahullah bahwa Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda :

"Artinya : Berpuasa pada hari Arafah karena mengharap pahala dari Allah melebur dosa-dosa setahun sebelum dan sesudahnya".

[3]. Takbir Dan Dzikir Pada Hari-Hari Tersebut.

Sebagaimana firman Allah Ta'ala.

"Artinya : .... dan supaya mereka menyebut nama Allah pada hari-hari yang telah ditentukan ..". [Al-Hajj : 28].

Para ahli tafsir menafsirkannya dengan sepuluh hari dari bulan Dzul Hijjah. Karena itu, para ulama menganjurkan untuk memperbanyak dzikir pada hari-hari tersebut, berdasarkan hadits dari Ibnu Umar Radhiyallahu 'Anhuma.

"Artinya : Maka perbanyaklah pada hari-hari itu tahlil, takbir dan tahmid ". [Hadits Riwayat Ahmad].

Imam Bukhari Rahimahullah menuturkan bahwa Ibnu Umar dan Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu 'Anhum keluar ke pasar pada sepuluh hari tersebut seraya mengumandangkan takbir lalu orang-orangpun mengikuti takbirnya. Dan Ishaq, Rahimahullah, meriwayatkan dari fuqaha', tabiin bahwa pada hari-hari ini mengucapkan :

"Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Laa Ilaha Ilallah, wa-Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar wa Lillahil Hamdu"

"Artinya : Allah Maha Besar, Allah Maha Besar, Tidak ada Ilah (Sembahan) Yang Haq selain Allah. Dan Allah Maha Besar, Allah Maha Besar, segala puji hanya bagi Allah".

Dianjurkan untuk mengeraskan suara dalam bertakbir ketika berada di pasar, rumah, jalan, masjid dan lain-lainnya. Sebagaimana firman Allah.

"Artinya : Dan hendaklah kamu mengagungkan Allah atas petunjuk-Nya yang diberikan kepadamu ..". [Al-Baqarah : 185].

Dan diperbolehkan berdzikir dengan yang mudah-mudah. Seperti : takbir, tasbih dan do'a-do'a lainnya yang disyariatkan.

[4]. Taubat Serta Meninggalkan Segala Maksiat Dan Dosa.

Sehingga akan mendapatkan ampunan dan rahmat. Maksiat adalah penyebab terjauhkan dan terusirnya hamba dari Allah, dan keta'atan adalah penyebab dekat dan cinta kasih Allah kepadanya.

Disebutkan dalam hadits dari Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu 'Anhu, bahwasanya Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda.

"Artinya : Sesungguhnya Allah itu cemburu, dan kecemburuan Allah itu manakala seorang hamba melakukan apa yang diharamkan Allah terhadapnya" [Hadits Muttafaq 'Alaihi].

[5]. Banyak Beramal Shalih.

Berupa ibadah sunat seperti : shalat, sedekah, jihad, membaca Al-Qur'an, amar ma'ruf nahi munkar dan lain sebagainya. Sebab amalan-amalan tersebut pada hari itu dilipat gandakan pahalanya. Bahkan amal ibadah yang tidak utama bila dilakukan pada hari itu akan menjadi lebih utama dan dicintai Allah daripada amal ibadah pada hari lainnya meskipun merupakan amal ibadah yang utama, sekalipun jihad yang merupakan amal ibadah yang amat utama, kecuali jihad orang yang tidak kembali dengan harta dan jiwanya.

[6]. Disyariatkan Pada Hari-Hari Itu Takbir Muthlaq

Yaitu pada setiap saat, siang ataupun malam sampai shalat Ied. Dan disyariatkan pula takbir muqayyad, yaitu yang dilakukan setiap selesai shalat fardhu yang dilaksanakan dengan berjama'ah ; bagi selain jama'ah haji dimulai dari sejak Zhuhur hari raya Qurban terus berlangsung hingga shalat Ashar pada hari Tasyriq.

[7]. Berkurban Pada Hari Raya Qurban Dan Hari-Hari Tasyriq.


Hal ini adalah sunnah Nabi Ibrahim 'Alaihissalam, yakni ketika Allah Ta'ala menebus putranya dengan sembelihan yang agung. Diriwayatkan bahwa Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

"Artinya : Berkurban dengan menyembelih dua ekor domba jantan berwarna putih dan bertanduk. Beliau sendiri yang menyembelihnya dengan menyebut nama Allah dan bertakbir, serta meletakkan kaki beliau di sisi tubuh domba itu". [Muttafaq 'Alaihi]

[8]. Dilarang Mencabut atau Memotong Rambut dan Kuku bagi orang yang hendak Berkurban.

Diriwayatkan oleh Muslim dan lainnya, dari Ummu Salamah Radhiyallhu 'Anha bahwa Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda.

"Artinya : Jika kamu melihat hilal bulan Dzul Hijjah dan salah seorang di antara kamu ingin berkurban, maka hendaklah ia menahan diri dari (memotong) rambut dan kukunya".

Dalam riwayat lain : "Maka janganlah ia mengambil sesuatu dari rambut atau kukunya sehingga ia berkurban".

Hal ini, mungkin, untuk menyerupai orang yang menunaikan ibadah haji yang menuntun hewan kurbannya. Firman Allah.

"Artinya : ..... dan jangan kamu mencukur (rambut) kepalamu, sebelum kurban sampai di tempat penyembelihan...". [Al-Baqarah : 196].

Larangan ini, menurut zhahirnya, hanya dikhususkan bagi orang yang berkurban saja, tidak termasuk istri dan anak-anaknya, kecuali jika masing-masing dari mereka berkurban. Dan diperbolehkan membasahi rambut serta menggosoknya, meskipun terdapat beberapa rambutnya yang rontok.

[9]. Melaksanakan Shalat Iedul Adha Dan Mendengarkan Khutbahnya.

Setiap muslim hendaknya memahami hikmah disyariatkannya hari raya ini. Hari ini adalah hari bersyukur dan beramal kebajikan. Maka janganlah dijadikan sebagai hari keangkuhan dan kesombongan ; janganlah dijadikan kesempatan bermaksiat dan bergelimang dalam kemungkaran seperti ; nyanyi-nyanyian, main judi, mabuk-mabukan dan sejenisnya. Hal mana akan menyebabkan terhapusnya amal kebajikan yang dilakukan selama sepuluh hari.

[10]. Selain Hal-Hal Yang Telah Disebutkan Diatas.

Hendaknya setiap muslim dan muslimah mengisi hari-hari ini dengan melakukan ketaatan, dzikir dan syukur kepada Allah, melaksanakan segala kewajiban dan menjauhi segala larangan ; memanfaatkan kesempatan ini dan berusaha memperoleh kemurahan Allah agar mendapat ridha-Nya.

Semoga Allah melimpahkan taufik-Nya dan menunjuki kita kepada jalan yang lurus. Dan shalawat serta salam semoga tetap tercurah kepada Nabi Muhammad, kepada keluarga dan para sahabatnya.


Selamat Hari Raya Eid-ul Adha to all Muslims... may our deeds be accepted and we are placed amongst the believers, inshaallah. :)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Total randomness

It seems ages since I actually did some writing that I feel rather weird doing so now. Words constantly failed me- too much kuih raya corroding my creativity. Most heartfelt thanks to my parents who sent me and my sister the now-traditional raya parcel. =D The kuihs are almost finished, by the way, Mocha Nestume being the most popular. Even the separa-hancur pineapple tarts were swiftly done with. Never contend the appetites of good-food-deprived students, I say.

As de rigueur, at least one paragraph would be reserved for snippets of my wistful thoughts embodying the keener nuance of my evolving self- otherwise known as blubbering. And today, after quietly reflecting over a cup of Earl Grey, the whole brouhaha in my conscience boiled down to one disturbing fact: my Russian’s dreadful. And to think that I’ll be sitting for Russian exam at the end of the semester. Woo-hoo. It’s hitting me quite hard, now that I’ve just started to care about its, well, pathetic state, because in truth I really like learning languages. It’s kind of my forte (besides tripping, falling, and other forms of self-humiliation). But Russian…

It’s a difficult language, Russian. Personally, in terms of complexity, I think it rivals Arabic for the various rules and cases. Still, if only I had worked harder, I could be having that desired conversation with the taxi driver back in first year now (even though, after 2 years of adapting, I’ve learned the value of money and avoid taxis as much as I could. LOL). Yeah, we had had some bad luck with our teacher being sick for a long time during first year, hampering our classes (subs teachers didn’t seem too interested in our progress). And yeah, we had had a new teacher for our second year who didn’t speak a word of English (except perhaps, “Now, listen to me”) and was a little, uh, disagreeable, making learning extra difficult, and halfway through a lot of us had become disinterested.

But. These are excuses, the allegory of my weak alter ego. If I had really wanted to, I could have put more effort to it. Practice the language; speak up. But I’m a person who is scared of making mistakes- scared of making a botch of the grammar, sentence structure and whatnots, thus ended up not speaking at all. Silly, wishy-washy wimp, you could say that. Honestly, I can't imagine myself speaking fluent Russian by the end of my studies here. The best I could hope for is probably successful bargaining with Mak ciks at the market ;p

Another wistful thought: after two years, I think it's safe to finally conclude that I actually like it here. Ok, I admit that half of the verdict (perhaps more) is due to my ridiculously optimistic, er, optimism, which tries to perceive everything coming my way as a life-shaping experience. Yes, I whine, I cry, I kick (only the door of my closet, don't worry ;p), and I do say I'm depressed a lot, but at the end of the day, I would come to realise that my state is actually much better than a lot others- even the people around me. Even the scum who stole my kolbasa (giant meat sausage <-- dunno how else to describe it! haha), mascarpone cheese, ginger, and spaghetti sauce a few days ago failed to irk me that much, compared to the others (massive 'robbery' occurred in our floor). Sometimes I do wonder why at times I sound rather angry when in truth I am not, not really. Just that there are times when I feel like there's a sudden rush of emotions running through my veins and things would just happen- things that I would regret only a second after.

I'm starting to sound like someone suffering from bipolar disorder. In conclusion, yeah, it's pretty nice to be living here, in a foreign land, learning more about what life can offer. Heck, I can even tolerate eating salads now. I kind of like them even (although they're more of a “so bad it’s good” variety. LOL).

I noticed a change in me that surprised me a bit though, one that I'm not sure is for the better or worse. Perhaps I've mentioned this before in an entry- the fact that I've taken a quieter front around people in the community. Friends not close to me may find me rather aloof and unfriendly (or shy, if they're being nice ;p), but those who are close to me, I think I'm really easy to figure out. Eh? =D In spite of it, I don't feel bad for the change, although i do wonder, where has the old me gone...

Final thought: Are Malays really hard to identify? I mean, I can understand being mistaken for an Indonesian or a Singaporean, or even a Filipino, but you won't believe the variety of races/nationalities I've been 'accused' of being for the past two years. Let's see... Vietnamese, Indian, American, Korean, Afghan, Iranian... even Brazilian. It's amusing. The peculiar thing is, most of the people would not straightly ask our origin- instead they find the fun in guessing, albeit a little unwittingly. All in all, it's good to encounter these people anytime, rather than the ones who would suddenly jump on you, babbling in angry Russian for reasons you would never comprehend.

Today's entry is really random, eh? I guess it's the post-withdrawal effect. haha. I'm calling it a day now- had a very bad case of food poisoning last night which continued right till today afternoon. Even now, my stomach is constantly making this rumbling motorcycle noise. Vrooom.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Raya pics

Last Sunday, we had our annual Raya celebration at the hostel. As I'm having yet another camera-less year, all these pics were borrowed. No pics of the food though, I guess everybody was too hungry to care. And rightly so, because the spread was glorious- the succulent savour of the rendang kambing is still lingering in my tastebuds...


3rd year Muslim students (most of)


3rd year students + a couple of, uh, wandering seniors.


I miss lemang ;(


Performance by the freshmen


With Farah


With Fatin


Models of my baju kurung collection. Hehe.