I’m an extremely clumsy person. A day would not pass without me having to scrub either my t-shirt, the carpet, or my bed sheet courtesy of accidental tragedies disguised as ketchups, drinks, oil, chili paste (this was yesterday by the way), and so on. It gets frustrating all the time- and not to mention physically tormenting. Something must be curiously wrong with the muscles of my fingers!
As an extra precaution, I feel the need to reiterate my warning a long, long time ago in one of my entries: do not ever think of employing me as your maid- I will burn your house down. A bit of an exaggeration there, you think?? Think again ;) But don’t worry, that’s about the worst thing that could happen within the sound scope of my logical reasoning--> which isn’t that reliable actually, so, well… Whatever catches your wildest imagination, then. Teehee.
The sun has been grinning non-stop these days, but the wind refuses to give up either. I’m perfectly sitting on the fence in this matter- good fight, guys =)
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Saturday, March 18, 2006
One small fragment of thoughts
Treading along the sidewalk at the heart of the city on my own one recent afternoon (though only for 15 minutes en route to a meeting) allowed me a distinctive occasion to observe the surroundings and swathe in the pure scent of unfamiliarity all around me. In a queer way, it did not rattle me to the least- a little welcoming, in fact. I’ve tried quite intently these days to detach myself from petty impedances- not to sweat the small stuff and let them corrupt my whole purpose of survival. I understand the degree of responsibility entrusted to me as a Muslim, daughter, sister and friend, and the purist in me hungers for perfection of my role(s). I’m not that arrogant to mean that factually- by perfection, I mean to go all out and do my best. To go overboard in earning my rights amongst the blessed fractions of mankind in the hereafter.
I realise that I would sound like a total ignorant with these mundane proclamations but more often than not, the better of us humans are so caught up in our worldly affairs that we would unconsciously tilt our scale towards the other side- the transient phase of our existence. As for me… there have been times… the times when I could have just kept quiet but chose to open my mouth and end up hurting people’s feelings without meaning to do so. The times when I get too emotionally involved in something and end up hurting my own morale unnecessarily. The times when I forget that Allah has mapped out His plans for each one of us and all we have to do is follow the straight path to Him. The times when I feel totally aghast upon witnessing the corruption of men but realise that I haven’t done anything to put a stop to it. The times when friendships and social standards win against firmly standing up for what is right and thus overshadow my better sense of judgement.
Prayers- are those enough for a weak soul like me who feels she hasn’t put in adequate efforts in everything for herself, let alone for the world?
Effort. A big word with great determination as prerequisite. I don’t know if I possess enough of that in my bones. History has testified that I would often draw back from giving out my best… for the fear of failing miserably. Stupid, yes. But just to clarify matters, I’m not a complete wreck- I just feel I haven’t been doing enough for the good of me. A great obstacle that I wish to overcome, and soon… insyaallah. Our efforts may not prove to be fruitful in this lifetime, but Allah knows the sincerity of our intentions. And He is the best amongst all givers.
I should most definitely pick up my anatomy textbook and begin reading. ;p
I realise that I would sound like a total ignorant with these mundane proclamations but more often than not, the better of us humans are so caught up in our worldly affairs that we would unconsciously tilt our scale towards the other side- the transient phase of our existence. As for me… there have been times… the times when I could have just kept quiet but chose to open my mouth and end up hurting people’s feelings without meaning to do so. The times when I get too emotionally involved in something and end up hurting my own morale unnecessarily. The times when I forget that Allah has mapped out His plans for each one of us and all we have to do is follow the straight path to Him. The times when I feel totally aghast upon witnessing the corruption of men but realise that I haven’t done anything to put a stop to it. The times when friendships and social standards win against firmly standing up for what is right and thus overshadow my better sense of judgement.
Prayers- are those enough for a weak soul like me who feels she hasn’t put in adequate efforts in everything for herself, let alone for the world?
Effort. A big word with great determination as prerequisite. I don’t know if I possess enough of that in my bones. History has testified that I would often draw back from giving out my best… for the fear of failing miserably. Stupid, yes. But just to clarify matters, I’m not a complete wreck- I just feel I haven’t been doing enough for the good of me. A great obstacle that I wish to overcome, and soon… insyaallah. Our efforts may not prove to be fruitful in this lifetime, but Allah knows the sincerity of our intentions. And He is the best amongst all givers.
I should most definitely pick up my anatomy textbook and begin reading. ;p
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
A note of good health
I feel a very good vibe around me lately, despite some superficial inconveniences (read: acne, tests, acne). Life is indeed full of surprises =)
" And with Him are the keys of the invisible. None but He knoweth them. And He knoweth what is in the land and the sea. Not a leaf falleth but He knoweth it, not a grain amid the darkness of the earth, naught of wet or dry but (it is noted) in a clear record." - Al- An'am: 59
" And with Him are the keys of the invisible. None but He knoweth them. And He knoweth what is in the land and the sea. Not a leaf falleth but He knoweth it, not a grain amid the darkness of the earth, naught of wet or dry but (it is noted) in a clear record." - Al- An'am: 59
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Let's talk about the... weather!
It seems like the winter is reluctant to say goodbye… instead of sunshine, green grass and blossoming flowers everyone has been anticipating for March, we received a very amiable (yes, a hint of sarcasm there) parting gift in the form of a gale for the last couple of days and even a bit of a blizzard yesterday. The fierce, unrelenting might of the wind could really sweep you of your feet, big time (if the slippery pavement does not get you first, that is) and had I a little fragment of sense-which I hadn’t- I would have just stayed home and read a book. Speaking of which, I just found out from a friend about this bookstore- probably the only one in the city (or one of very very few, if any) which stocks English paperback classics. Sad as it sounds, I was thrilled! Hence the purchase of three happy copies, which were probably stuck there between the shelves since the dawning of men, screaming for attention.
“The Time Machine” by Herbert G. Wells
“The Quiet American” by Graham Greene
“Death on the Nile” by Agatha Christie.
Ok, just for the record there ;p
Alright, where were we before I digressed… ah, the weather. I queerly found the wind-snowstorm-slippery track combo fascinating- an altogether unique ensemble of experience that I have never tasted before firsthand. A bit scary, yes, and very humbling to the core. The genuine extent of the unpredictable forces of nature is being demonstrated before my very eyes, although this is not the worst scenario that could have surfaced, of course. I saw a girl holding on to a pole to steady herself, my sister related on how she had to cling to a car’s boot to avoid being engulfed by the wind, and yesterday my friends huddled together as they walked, for better stability. And ah, I’m about to wander off from the main topic again. Speaking of yesterday- we went ice-skating and had a whale of a good time, despite the fact that I fell down flat on my bottom twice and had countless of wobbly moments (I was very watchful of my weak knees, mak and abah, so no worries ;p). And you should watch those Russians- they were darn good! I glanced at some of them with envy as they played train and tag (imagine that on ice. I wish!) with one another in effortless movements. So, obviously... this calls for a second trip! And third and fourth and fifth! Hehe.
This morning I had the fortunate opportunity to observe a cat exhibition and later, a sushi treat near Volga. Many of the cats were simply gorgeous and I was deeply reminded of my cats back home. Blimey. I’m missing them!
at the exhibition: a kitten sleeping
“The Time Machine” by Herbert G. Wells
“The Quiet American” by Graham Greene
“Death on the Nile” by Agatha Christie.
Ok, just for the record there ;p
Alright, where were we before I digressed… ah, the weather. I queerly found the wind-snowstorm-slippery track combo fascinating- an altogether unique ensemble of experience that I have never tasted before firsthand. A bit scary, yes, and very humbling to the core. The genuine extent of the unpredictable forces of nature is being demonstrated before my very eyes, although this is not the worst scenario that could have surfaced, of course. I saw a girl holding on to a pole to steady herself, my sister related on how she had to cling to a car’s boot to avoid being engulfed by the wind, and yesterday my friends huddled together as they walked, for better stability. And ah, I’m about to wander off from the main topic again. Speaking of yesterday- we went ice-skating and had a whale of a good time, despite the fact that I fell down flat on my bottom twice and had countless of wobbly moments (I was very watchful of my weak knees, mak and abah, so no worries ;p). And you should watch those Russians- they were darn good! I glanced at some of them with envy as they played train and tag (imagine that on ice. I wish!) with one another in effortless movements. So, obviously... this calls for a second trip! And third and fourth and fifth! Hehe.
This morning I had the fortunate opportunity to observe a cat exhibition and later, a sushi treat near Volga. Many of the cats were simply gorgeous and I was deeply reminded of my cats back home. Blimey. I’m missing them!
at the exhibition: a kitten sleeping
Monday, February 27, 2006
Feline Fever!
I have done the unjust act of not introducing this divine creature earlier to my fellow bloggers and friends. So here goes… introducing Sifi, the most gorgeous cat alive in Russia! =) Me, my sister and a friend share the right over Sifi’s care since 4 months ago. She’s of the breed Angora, with an extremely (and I mean it in the most extreme context) playful nature- you’ll never win with her playing catch =) I don’t see her often these days for she’s living in our friend’s flat (we are not allowed to keep pets in the hostel) but whenever I do- like today- she sure will be asphyxiated from all my squeezing and hugging and kissing! I think she hates me. Hahaha.
Anyway, I love Sundays. It’s the day I was born; it’s the only holiday of the week here. Cheers everyone!
“Say: I fear, if I rebel against my Lord, the retribution of an Awful Day”- Al An’am:15
Friday, February 24, 2006
Obsolete little me
My sense of worth has been nose-diving progressively since New Year, largely owing to my lack of awareness of what’s going on out there all this while. It’s true that I tend to create this space within myself, my imaginary cloud-cuckoo-land; that I sometimes can easily zone out of civilization to enter another that makes less sense but exudes more appeal; my ‘tawaf’ around the house (I guess only family members can decipher this one); the long ‘retreat sessions’ I used to have in my ‘cave’ (nickname courtesy of my mother), so on and so forth, but somehow I had always kept my brain sentient to world events, however negligible my participation might be to advocate world peace or something.
Today I feel like a broken chip of my old self- very unacquainted, not as sharp as before, and I haven’t even reached twenty! Oh dear, this couldn’t possibly be one of the subtler signs of ageing, could it? Alright, that was pushing it... This is a crisis of resolution. My predicament might well be solved by reading the newspapers or watching the news, both of which a doubtful prospect given my shabby command of the language. I know, I can go online but my credit would all run out for other stuff before I know it (for the umpteenth time, internet here is expensive!). Ok, again my bad… and now I’m feeling all stupid and ignorant. People can go on and write intelligent stuff and I’ll just… put up pictures or something. I guess… I’ll figure this one out.
By the way, my condolences to all Chelsea fans… at least I have something to cheer about ;p
the train station at night
the only building said to have stood erected in the city after WW2
A sleigh-ride seems fun, isn't it?;)
Hurmm, this looks more fun! (wish I could get a closer snap, this is about the limit of my camera zoom from across the street, plus we were kind of in a hurry)
Alright, this wins hands down in the fun-ness factor!
paintings for sale along the walk to Volga river
beautiful strings of beads at one of the art n craft stalls
One of the huge shards of ice at the bank of Volga in our hands- had fun breaking them up and throwing them into the frozen river =)
Mother of Russia in white
ps: ABC- mission accomplished! ;D
pps: Today (23 February) is the celebration of Men's Day in Russia. So Happy Men's Day to all, er, Men!
Today I feel like a broken chip of my old self- very unacquainted, not as sharp as before, and I haven’t even reached twenty! Oh dear, this couldn’t possibly be one of the subtler signs of ageing, could it? Alright, that was pushing it... This is a crisis of resolution. My predicament might well be solved by reading the newspapers or watching the news, both of which a doubtful prospect given my shabby command of the language. I know, I can go online but my credit would all run out for other stuff before I know it (for the umpteenth time, internet here is expensive!). Ok, again my bad… and now I’m feeling all stupid and ignorant. People can go on and write intelligent stuff and I’ll just… put up pictures or something. I guess… I’ll figure this one out.
By the way, my condolences to all Chelsea fans… at least I have something to cheer about ;p
the train station at night
the only building said to have stood erected in the city after WW2
A sleigh-ride seems fun, isn't it?;)
Hurmm, this looks more fun! (wish I could get a closer snap, this is about the limit of my camera zoom from across the street, plus we were kind of in a hurry)
Alright, this wins hands down in the fun-ness factor!
paintings for sale along the walk to Volga river
beautiful strings of beads at one of the art n craft stalls
One of the huge shards of ice at the bank of Volga in our hands- had fun breaking them up and throwing them into the frozen river =)
Mother of Russia in white
ps: ABC- mission accomplished! ;D
pps: Today (23 February) is the celebration of Men's Day in Russia. So Happy Men's Day to all, er, Men!
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Hail to Nothing-ness!
The cold winter is dulling my senses, that’s the reason (“lamer!”- my inner conscience) for me shying away from blogging the last few days, despite having completed my exam. It went well for my part (never mind the marks, I won’t figure out the way Russians think. Haha) and now I’m ensnared in the gooey mold of post-exam blues (Yes, I know I’m annoying with all these blues-ness of mine, just humour me for the moment, alright? ;p). Anyhow, the pre-exam blues were far worse- I’d gladly take boredom over stress any time of the day =) Some of us reckoned (or hoping, more like) the temperature would plunge to -50 in time for the exam so we wouldn’t have to go out and sit for the paper. Nah… I was thinking, a blizzard sounded like a more promising prospect. So we were bordering on insanity and guess what, it was a lovely 2-degree (above 0, yes) morning the day of the exam. Ok, so a lesson learned for not talking trash or actually wanting bad things to materialise.
The yo-yo-ish weather has been an uncommon kind of experience for me- rolling over in white snow today, hopping around deep puddles of mud the next. Yesterday it was the latter, unfortunately. It snowed, but melted brusquely at the touch of my palm, making it impossible to observe the elegant patterns of exquisite snowflakes. The temperature has been hovering around some notches above zero of late, I so hope my ultimate dream of making ABC from snow outside would be realised by the end of the season. My sister: “But it’s not that clean, from the dust and all in the air” Haha… I have swallowed rain water at some points in my life (playing sessions, mostly ;p), this one is practically the same- cleaner, even. Hehe. Hmm.
For the whole of next week, I'll be gladly entitled to a series of nothing-ness. Technically speaking, I would be whiling the time away watching borrowed dated movies and TV serials (ER season 1, can you believe it?? That’s like, waaay 10 years back or something, back when Dr. Carter was still an icky third-year medical student being bullied by Dr. Benton), in between finishing my storybooks and manga. Oh, and going out, of course. Actually, I have been quite busy envying the seniors whose holidays had started way earlier than ours and thus had the privilege to visit exotic (to us traveling newbies, heh) European countries: Sweden, Greece, Austria, Finland, England, and Spain are some that I’ve heard. Quite a handful went to Egypt, and some even returned home to Malaysia. Yours truly? Hibernating underneath her covers and fabulously turning into an old maid. And no, I’m not complaining, thank you =)
The yo-yo-ish weather has been an uncommon kind of experience for me- rolling over in white snow today, hopping around deep puddles of mud the next. Yesterday it was the latter, unfortunately. It snowed, but melted brusquely at the touch of my palm, making it impossible to observe the elegant patterns of exquisite snowflakes. The temperature has been hovering around some notches above zero of late, I so hope my ultimate dream of making ABC from snow outside would be realised by the end of the season. My sister: “But it’s not that clean, from the dust and all in the air” Haha… I have swallowed rain water at some points in my life (playing sessions, mostly ;p), this one is practically the same- cleaner, even. Hehe. Hmm.
For the whole of next week, I'll be gladly entitled to a series of nothing-ness. Technically speaking, I would be whiling the time away watching borrowed dated movies and TV serials (ER season 1, can you believe it?? That’s like, waaay 10 years back or something, back when Dr. Carter was still an icky third-year medical student being bullied by Dr. Benton), in between finishing my storybooks and manga. Oh, and going out, of course. Actually, I have been quite busy envying the seniors whose holidays had started way earlier than ours and thus had the privilege to visit exotic (to us traveling newbies, heh) European countries: Sweden, Greece, Austria, Finland, England, and Spain are some that I’ve heard. Quite a handful went to Egypt, and some even returned home to Malaysia. Yours truly? Hibernating underneath her covers and fabulously turning into an old maid. And no, I’m not complaining, thank you =)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Talking nineteen to the dozen =)
I have been so immersed in manga-reading (and re-reading) lately that I had spent less time on the Net. The other day some of my friends tried to persuade me to watch the anime Naruto but somehow I still very much prefer the manga version. I got the impression that they didn’t quite get why I would fancy a non-moving, black-and-white form of entertainment over a, well, moving and coloured one, and hey, I myself am currently contemplating on that subject too… at any rate I’ve always found reading an extremely enjoyable activity. Not to say that I don’t enjoy movies (I know practically every movie under the sun… ok, not. Hehe) but if, say, a movie is based on a book and I have read that book, by some means I would always find the book much more satisfying and compelling as judged against the movie version (Well, The Lord of The Rings are an exception, they are darn good;p).
Anyways… a parcel from my parents arrived on Thursday which totally made my day (thanks Mak and Abah!). Although some of my requested stuff were missing (or incorrectly sent- like the Carera pens, I specifically stated model B-7, not B-8, Bob, and Reporter. hehe) but it didn’t really matter- all the food stuff more than made up for it =) But what’s this- ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’ DVD?! You know I do NOT watch horror movies, Abah! *sigh* It didn’t prevent the girls from flocking to my room to watch it though (whilst I parked myself on my bed reading mangas) but unfortunately for them, the cd was spoiled halfway into the story (“hantu baru je nak keluar”, according to them). Oh well. These things happen ;p
I know I’m a bore… it must be the weather. Hehehe. A lovely thing to note though- today it snowed! Awesome.
A paperweight on my desk ;)
An early December picture of snow
Anyways… a parcel from my parents arrived on Thursday which totally made my day (thanks Mak and Abah!). Although some of my requested stuff were missing (or incorrectly sent- like the Carera pens, I specifically stated model B-7, not B-8, Bob, and Reporter. hehe) but it didn’t really matter- all the food stuff more than made up for it =) But what’s this- ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’ DVD?! You know I do NOT watch horror movies, Abah! *sigh* It didn’t prevent the girls from flocking to my room to watch it though (whilst I parked myself on my bed reading mangas) but unfortunately for them, the cd was spoiled halfway into the story (“hantu baru je nak keluar”, according to them). Oh well. These things happen ;p
I know I’m a bore… it must be the weather. Hehehe. A lovely thing to note though- today it snowed! Awesome.
A paperweight on my desk ;)
An early December picture of snow
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Food blues
What would you do when practically everybody’s been telling you that you look a little, er, chubbier (they’re just being nice, aren’t they) since the previous couple of months and you yourself knew it was useless to indulge yourself further in self-denial as the weighing scale would not fib on the fact that you have just gained 2kg in a short couple of weeks (and counting, you can feel it somehow) and that there must be a fair reason to the fresh stiffness you experienced every time you tried to button up your jeans? Alright, you know that I know you know the answer already (don’t mind me, this is the after-effect of one of my midnight blues), but here goes anyway: you go on a diet.
I was never one to be obsessed with my weight and all, but sincerely speaking, I myself am quite alarmed by my present eating pattern. I’ve always been a big eater since the dawning of days, but nothing quite prepared me for this sort of food rampage I am on ever since my arrival in this foreign land. My theoretical conviction concerning the root of this problem lays in the truth of me terribly missing local Malaysian food- more specifically, traditional Malay delicacies. And oh, let’s prod deeper and be more explicit about it, why not. I’m specifically talking about ikan bakar (preferably fresh-water ones) with kuah asam, telur ikan masak lemak, udang harimau masak merah, sayur pucuk paku, pucuk manis (dan segala pucuk lah) masak lemak/berlada, sayur rebung masak lemak, sambal belacan, tempoyak, cencaluk, and practically every kind of ulam that ever existed on this good earth, especially………. Haha, it’s no big secret, my dear family members will spill the beans (note the pun later on! Lol) in the comment box anyway… good ol’ petai.
Aha, I can see your face contorting with unreserved disgust already, but don’t be too hasty in passing bad judgment on their already moldy reputation. These fellas augment your appetite like no other, and I brush my teeth like, three times after eating them, so no harm done, really! I daresay that those who do not eat these yummy (even if a tad unusual) beans are missing out on one of the incredible wonders of life. Yes, they are that good. And oh, how could I simply forget to mention my all-time favourite breakfast meal, nasi lemak? My mouth happily watered just at the measly thought of it (and the picture of nasi lemak at the stall nearby our house my dad sent me yesterday did not help to lessen my cravings at all ;p) and don’t even get me started on other cultures’ dishes like briyani and chicken tandoori (super-duper yummy!) and char kuey tiaw (Planet Curry’s ones are the finest!), we might never finish this entry by dawn.
So the theory goes that I tried to make up for the lack of scrumptious halal food (note that it isn’t merely halal food I’m talking about) in this part of the world by scraping off every halal ones I could get my teeth on to the shameful extent of licking off pots and pans (don’t imagine the sight in a gross way). I drank a lot of juice, piled up on chocolate, chips, and cookies, and ate at least two platefuls of rice every night. Hunger pangs seemed to strike me all the time and the pain was double the ones I had had back in home. I noticed at some point that I wasn’t eating healthily and of proper quantity, but I secretly blamed it on the cold weather. Hehe. Moreover, green vegetables are extremely difficult to get hold of in this season and the closest thing we could get to bayam and sawi are… carrots and potatoes. I’m not really sure how these whole facts correlated with one another, but they relayed the same outcome- I was splendidly on my way to the realm of high blood pressure and diabetes and spare tyres. Helloo there.
Therefore, with great courage in hand, I set on a mission not too long ago (in fact, the day before yesterday) to prevent the swift increase of my cheeks’ circumferences and superfluous adipose tissues and blood pressure and so forth, which consists of tricky steps quite difficult to be accomplished for my part. Nevertheless, I will step forward without fear… (I know I sound soo fake).
Step 1: Eat one round of rice daily, instead of two, three and four (sorry abah, I can’t talk on spoonful terms yet)
Step 2: Do daily sit-ups
Step 3: Stop buying chocolate and chips
Step 4: Perform puasa sunat more often
Step 5: Do face exercise (hahaha, my father taught me this one)
Step 6: Eat more cereals with fibre and wholemeal bread
Step 7: Never forget to take my vitamins
Any more tips? =)
Waiting for mashrudka (public transport in the form of a van) to go home at 4.30pm from nearby the academy
I was never one to be obsessed with my weight and all, but sincerely speaking, I myself am quite alarmed by my present eating pattern. I’ve always been a big eater since the dawning of days, but nothing quite prepared me for this sort of food rampage I am on ever since my arrival in this foreign land. My theoretical conviction concerning the root of this problem lays in the truth of me terribly missing local Malaysian food- more specifically, traditional Malay delicacies. And oh, let’s prod deeper and be more explicit about it, why not. I’m specifically talking about ikan bakar (preferably fresh-water ones) with kuah asam, telur ikan masak lemak, udang harimau masak merah, sayur pucuk paku, pucuk manis (dan segala pucuk lah) masak lemak/berlada, sayur rebung masak lemak, sambal belacan, tempoyak, cencaluk, and practically every kind of ulam that ever existed on this good earth, especially………. Haha, it’s no big secret, my dear family members will spill the beans (note the pun later on! Lol) in the comment box anyway… good ol’ petai.
Aha, I can see your face contorting with unreserved disgust already, but don’t be too hasty in passing bad judgment on their already moldy reputation. These fellas augment your appetite like no other, and I brush my teeth like, three times after eating them, so no harm done, really! I daresay that those who do not eat these yummy (even if a tad unusual) beans are missing out on one of the incredible wonders of life. Yes, they are that good. And oh, how could I simply forget to mention my all-time favourite breakfast meal, nasi lemak? My mouth happily watered just at the measly thought of it (and the picture of nasi lemak at the stall nearby our house my dad sent me yesterday did not help to lessen my cravings at all ;p) and don’t even get me started on other cultures’ dishes like briyani and chicken tandoori (super-duper yummy!) and char kuey tiaw (Planet Curry’s ones are the finest!), we might never finish this entry by dawn.
So the theory goes that I tried to make up for the lack of scrumptious halal food (note that it isn’t merely halal food I’m talking about) in this part of the world by scraping off every halal ones I could get my teeth on to the shameful extent of licking off pots and pans (don’t imagine the sight in a gross way). I drank a lot of juice, piled up on chocolate, chips, and cookies, and ate at least two platefuls of rice every night. Hunger pangs seemed to strike me all the time and the pain was double the ones I had had back in home. I noticed at some point that I wasn’t eating healthily and of proper quantity, but I secretly blamed it on the cold weather. Hehe. Moreover, green vegetables are extremely difficult to get hold of in this season and the closest thing we could get to bayam and sawi are… carrots and potatoes. I’m not really sure how these whole facts correlated with one another, but they relayed the same outcome- I was splendidly on my way to the realm of high blood pressure and diabetes and spare tyres. Helloo there.
Therefore, with great courage in hand, I set on a mission not too long ago (in fact, the day before yesterday) to prevent the swift increase of my cheeks’ circumferences and superfluous adipose tissues and blood pressure and so forth, which consists of tricky steps quite difficult to be accomplished for my part. Nevertheless, I will step forward without fear… (I know I sound soo fake).
Step 1: Eat one round of rice daily, instead of two, three and four (sorry abah, I can’t talk on spoonful terms yet)
Step 2: Do daily sit-ups
Step 3: Stop buying chocolate and chips
Step 4: Perform puasa sunat more often
Step 5: Do face exercise (hahaha, my father taught me this one)
Step 6: Eat more cereals with fibre and wholemeal bread
Step 7: Never forget to take my vitamins
Any more tips? =)
Waiting for mashrudka (public transport in the form of a van) to go home at 4.30pm from nearby the academy
Monday, January 02, 2006
Ms. Lonely
Satisfaction is something formidable to come by. During the wee hours of night, when all but few have drifted to slumberland, I would often suffer from this terrible ache of loneliness inside of me. Everything comes back to haunt me- the unpleasant guilt I would always bear towards my parents, the feeling that I haven’t achieved anything truly momentous in my life, the resentment (used very lightly in this context) towards my hardworking comrades followed by the routine I-hate-myself phase, the fear for my fate in future lives...
Sometimes my emotion might even push me further to the extent that I would imagine (or is it real?) myself living this life as a fake, that there is some loose screw somewhere impairing the whole assemble of my existence. That I haven’t done what I’m meant to do, that all the good things I did were simply lucky twists of fate, that failure is endorsing my every stride, ooh the usual phobia I guess. Perhaps it’s just my hormones at work. But this feeling of uncertainty- suddenly Heisenberg’s Law of Uncertainty pops in mind. Haha- has persisted too long a time to be completely ignored. I need answers… (now I sound like some freaking character in pseudo-psycho Hollywood flicks. Creepy.).
What I need… is someone to talk to. Someone who can really understand this unsettling chapter I’m going through, who won’t laugh at me and call me an overly-conscious geek (although admittedly I am), who, granted, shares my sentiment upon some… things. Anything. I can think of a few people who virtually fit in the criteria aforementioned, but what can I say… geographical boundaries are such a nuisance.
I guess the point of this entry is: I’m missing my friends.
A cup of cappucino to jazz up my day =)
Sometimes my emotion might even push me further to the extent that I would imagine (or is it real?) myself living this life as a fake, that there is some loose screw somewhere impairing the whole assemble of my existence. That I haven’t done what I’m meant to do, that all the good things I did were simply lucky twists of fate, that failure is endorsing my every stride, ooh the usual phobia I guess. Perhaps it’s just my hormones at work. But this feeling of uncertainty- suddenly Heisenberg’s Law of Uncertainty pops in mind. Haha- has persisted too long a time to be completely ignored. I need answers… (now I sound like some freaking character in pseudo-psycho Hollywood flicks. Creepy.).
What I need… is someone to talk to. Someone who can really understand this unsettling chapter I’m going through, who won’t laugh at me and call me an overly-conscious geek (although admittedly I am), who, granted, shares my sentiment upon some… things. Anything. I can think of a few people who virtually fit in the criteria aforementioned, but what can I say… geographical boundaries are such a nuisance.
I guess the point of this entry is: I’m missing my friends.
A cup of cappucino to jazz up my day =)
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