Bottleneck part of life

Last week of the semester- I can't believe it's finally here. Caught in the maelstrom of concluding tests as per norm (four to be exact), I should be at about the end of my tether now from nonstop slogging, right? Unfortunately, life's not that simple. Hehe. What am I babbling... Anyway. The talk about town (read: my circle of friends. hence very small town. lol) lately seemed to revolve around that bottleneck part of life: adulthood. It sorta stings to admit that we’ve now reached the status of adults… for my part at least.

Looking back, I did go through the phase of eagerly wanting to grow up and dismissing warnings from certain adults at the time about the burdens of adulthood that came with the freedom, especially when they kept telling us to enjoy our teenage years whilst they lasted. My juvenile thought then- these people had probably forgotten what it was like to be a teenager- the most difficult job in the world. Haha. Not quite, but almost. Now I'm thinking, how selfish and immature I was back then. Yet I wonder: is it simply because of the experience that makes us reconsider our position, or that our thinking process has completely evolved over the years and changed us so? For whenever I was misunderstood as a teenager, my first thought would be- why couldn't they understand? Weren’t they teenagers once? On the other hand, I've found myself starting to laugh off some of my younger sister's thoughts and complaints as 'those angst-y moments'; she probably thinks I'm sounding more and more like a mak cik too (hopefully not).

I actually fear that- the thought that I might forget what it's really like to be a teenager. I'd like to think that I've only become more mature and wiser as I grow older, but it's just a whole different system of thoughts really, between teenagers and adults. Experience does warrant for some of an adult’s altered outlooks, which may be better, but at times it comes down to the fact that we interpret things with different eyes, both of which may be right and sound in their own respect. And appreciating both entities of cognition will help adults to identify with younger generation better and develop mutual understanding between the two. Teenagers can't possibly stand in adults' shoes as they've never been one themselves, thus I hope not to forget the essence of my teenage years- so I can probably fill in some blanks during any run-in with my younger contemporaries in the future.

I realise I'm sounding rather cryptic and probably not making a lot of sense to most people. And further, I'm only 21. I may be allowed to vote, but adulthood calls for more than casting a ballot, or making lists of groceries to buy. I constantly worry about everything there is, yet I make silly mistakes all the time. When I finally thought I might have figured things out, something outrageous would come up to wash any notions away. I’ve a long way to go. And a belated birthday card a few days ago with the words “Welcome to adulthood love!” added considerably to the pressure. Haha. Thank you for the vote of confidence, but for now, and I suspect a good more while to come, I’m still a teenager.

On another unrelated matter- since I won’t have a camera for at least the next seven months or so, I’m going to post old, never-before-published pictures. Hehe. Just to kill some time browsing through my folders, as I’ve got nothing better to do other than studying for the aforesaid tests (Mak and Abah, please don’t kill me for saying this). =)


The closest thing to a surau we could get in the academy. 8th December 2005.


Farah waiting for prayer time. 8th December 2005.


23rd October 2005. These days she could practically hide the laptop underneath her furry body.


What could be so funny about Latin, eh? 17th March 2006.


At Mamayev Kurgan; Mother Russia in far background (I forgot the name of the other statue). 26th May 2006.

To be continued... :)