Monday, June 30, 2008

Eurexam's over

Alhamdulillah... Exam's over, Euro 2008's over. Both went very well for me. Hehe. Now I'm going home.

ps: Congratulations to my seniors who graduated last week!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Eurexam 2008

Final exams are five days away. So is Euro 2008. We’re having a conflict of interests here, see... the Fred Flintstone in me is racing wildly to Austria-Switzerland screaming "Yabba dabba do!" whilst the Homer Simpson in me is staring at those gooey pathological features of a cell with a "D'oh!" thrown in every now and then. We know who’ll win in the end (Homer’s pretty scary when he’s at it). My point is, Russia’s in the game so presumably I’ll be hearing extra mega-loud cheering from the building across (or wherever) this time, just like when they won the ice hockey world championship 2 weeks ago. It’s about time I put my earplugs to use.

In earnest, I have more than just doubts toward myself regarding the finals this time around. The year has been a farrago of doubts, confusion, surprises, fear, and discoveries, and now that it’s coming to a close, I’m not sure whether I am a better person for it. I hope so, but it’s been like a gain some, lose some thing for me all year round. I got a taste of adulthood when I came here, given carte blanche to orchestrate my own symphony of life, but often I long for my carefree days as a child. And final exams are an illustration of the few things you undergo throughout your entire life which become subject to evolution, themselves.

When you were little, you wanted to score 100% in all subjects. When you got older and the stuff you learned became curiously trickier, you lowered the bar a little- straight As were the goal. When you came here, you still wanted A (or the equivalent of it, which was 5), but counting in the peculiarity of the system, a B wouldn’t be so bad. Even a C didn’t necessarily mean you were a bad student, considering the circumstances you might have been unluckily pitched in. I don’t blame the system- every system has a flaw- but it does provide you with a comfy cushion for your impending frustrations. And that's exactly what I fear of- the comfort.

In the end, it’s up to each and everyone’s own efforts to rise above the system and fly solo. It does not matter much, in my opinion, whether you study locally or abroad. A good student is a good student, no matter where they are. And I want to be that student.

So I need to get off the laptop now. Mak and Abah, please pray for my success. Can’t wait to get home.

"It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small." –Neil Armstrong